Soldiers
by HK-Revan
Summary: They were soldiers, toys nothing else. Until she came and changed them. A star that shined bright. A star that refused to flicker and die. They were Espada and she was just a girl called Orihime. What comes around, goes around.
1. Tin soldiers

The Espada were tools, weapons of war, weapons of fear and destruction. They knew that. Before they were Espada they were hollows and their lives existed only around death and survival.

Aizen made his Espada to be able to think and act on those thoughts, to be able to ignore the hunger of souls and to focus on other things. He made them bow and obey. They were his troops, his harbingers of death.

He was King after all.

With his Espada, he took high-powered hollows and he changed them, gave them shinigami powers, made them look human. But the emotions they could experience were limited. He had purposely made them without joy or happiness. He made them human appearance without the full spectrum of emotion.

The Espada could still feel hollowness in them. They tried to supplement that hollowness anyway they could. They indulged in their instincts, in fighting and in some cases sleeping. Anger and hate fueled them, the most easily attainable emotions they could express.

Others, like ULquiorra, could not express at all for he had no reason to express, blank on the outside, cold on the inside. He obeys, and he kills.

What a perfect soldier.

Aizen did good work making the arrancar. His toy soldiers were strong and they obeyed. They felt no fear, no love, and no pity. They were perfect soldiers. All were killers; all do not even caring that they killed. All stained with blood oceans thick. They lacked empathy, lacked hearts, lacked the impulse to care.

Aizen would have won in the war against Soul Society if he had kept his soldiers this way. Ruthless and bloodthirsty, they would slaughter any shinigami coming their way. Ruthless and manipulative, Aizen would've have them dancing by his strings as he did before when he was a captain in Soul Society.

The shinigami were of this era was too competent, too caring and too brave, a whole batch of do-gooders. Influenced by the ryoka, they have changed. Aizen, so arrogant, had forgotten how small things can become big things; he used the ryoka for his own plans and had forgotten how outside stimulus forces change.

Aizen forgot the number one rule of survival.

Adapt or Die.

If there was anything hollows were good at, they were good at survival. The strong lived while the weak perished. It is life, it is their meaning, it was everything. Even as they donned human form, the base instinct still lived on.

Aizen's only mistake, a seemly minuscule decision and scheme in the entire plan, was to kidnap Orihime. It wasn't that her friends were going to rescue her, or that she might use her powers against him, it was the fact that she was unpredictable and thus unable to be plotted.

It was small first, her influence among his Espada. Small nudges and somewhat overlooked actions. Orihime didn't notice what she was doing, she didn't know that she was doing them. She was just being Orihime, she was being human, she was being imaginative and expressive.

Had Aizen kidnapped someone else, the story would've ended differently. But he didn't. He thrust a small bright light into consuming darkness. Most lights would've faded and died. Most lights would've become darker and subcummed. Most lights were never meant to shine too brightly only to flicker out at their height.

Orihime did not flicker or die. She shined like a star, a sun, a warmth like her shield.

The first warning was in how Ulquiorra was acting. The normally passive Espada was expressing emotion, small twinges of irritation towards his charge. He even allowed himself to be slapped. That was big. Aizen decided to let Halibel take care of Orihime, confident that the silent Espada would be untouched by Orihime's brimming emotions.

But alas, Orihime was like a virus, infecting his Espada. She made them smile, made them laugh, opened their eyes, and made them yearn for emotions other than hate and lust.

She played games with them, simple card games, board games that the Espada took from the living world. Stark was strangely hooked on manga and Wonderwice painted the white rooms with color, small inessential that changed the Esapda. Aizen didn't care and allowed her to have her little whims. As long as she did her task, he would not bat an eyelash if she turned purple.

Small tiny childish games that children played, the Espada experimented puppet theaters and singing competitions. Orihime like glue bonded the Espada. She, like a force of nature, blew past their protests and forced them to face each other.

Brothers and Sisters.

Never had those words meant so much as they did when Orihime said them. When Aizen said them, his voice was sinister and sounded so hollow, so fake. They never knew a difference in the voice, in the tone until Orihime said them.

Her voice, full of love and caring opened their ears. It didn't matter they were arrancar, that they were enemies. She reached out and they, reluctantly, touched fingertips. True innocence was so hard to find and so very easily crushed. Orihime, could not be crushed, it was forbidden in the beginning, was under radar, and was able to radiate her innocence like a beacon.

Like a light in darkness, she was their flame. But they were not moths. With each touch, each graceful brush, the moths changed and grew. Their masks, the ones they were born with, broke and shattered. Their true face, their hidden face, another adaptation, another change and they moved becoming.

Even Aizen's two lieutenants were not immune to her. Gin, the ever-smiling fox, could be seen fondling a wide haori in his room while Tousen seemed to be staring at walls even though he could not see. Her words reached them, her actions. She had done something to them, something that made them both Think.

It was only at the final battle did Aizen realize how grossly miscalculated he had of his pawns and his pieces. The shinigami were pushing forward, slashing through the hoard of hollows. Aizen was losing. He needed the Orb to be fully powered. Orihime was next to him, Tousen holding her elbow.

She refused to use her powers. She used all her defiance at that one crucial moment.

"Do it." He yelled, losing his composure. Orihime shook her head. In anger, he grabbed her arm, and slapped her.

A hand went through his body. A sword sliced his arm off. Aizen screamed in real pain, and pulled back. His Espada had gone against him. Ulquiorra held Orihime in his arms, his cold green eyes narrowed at Aizen. Stark held his hand, fingers limp, dripping with Aizen's blood in a bored way. Gin smiled, his blade also dripping in Aizen's blood.

Aizen didn't take betrayal well, ironic for a man who betrayed everyone else. The shinigami stared as their enemies turned around and ignored them. Aizen initated Bankai, confident he would be able to wipe them all out. Everyone was hit.

"Fools!" Shouted Aizen as his enemies withered. "I am unbe-"

A sword came out of his chest. A voice near his ear whispered," You forget, I am blind. I see nothing, never fooled by your illusions."

And so the most powerful shinigami fell, his bankai falling apart. He fell to the ground but he never made it. A cero vaporized him courtesy of Grimmjow. Grimmjow laughed hysterically.

The shinigami looked at each other and then at the Espada. "What are you going to do? "

Ulquiorra spoke, the unofficial representative. "Aizen's war is of no concern to us."

Ichigo ran over. "Give back Orihime."

Grimmjow snickered. "No way. She's ours now. One of us. We're not handing her over to you nimrods."

Stark scratched his ear and opened garganta. "We're leaving."

Ulquiorra spoke once more. "I believe a human statement could be said in this situation. Keep what is precious to you, protect with all your life and will or suffer the loss of failure." He walked towards the garganta.

The Espada were leaving with Orihime, the girl with god defying powers, and the shinigami were too wounded to make a decent effort to stop them. Orihime was also willing walking back with them, following them.

Just what had happened in Hueco Muendo?

"Don't worry strawberry, we'll let her visit. After all you're her friends." Grimmjow sneered. "But we're family."

Ichigo stared in shock and watched as the garganta closed. Gin and Tousen were left behind. Some of the random hollows dispersed.

"Why didn't you go with them?" Asked Toshiro, hand on his wound.

Gin grin widened. "Didn't ya hear Grimmy? I'm not family and they hate me."

Tousen nodded. "It's true. They hate him." Wonderwice cooed and hung onto Tousen's leg.

"What about him!" Shouted Ichigo, pointing.

Tousen patted Wonderwice's head. "I'll bring him back later."

Gin snickered. "I'm sure y'all want to know what happened right?"

Nods from multiple heads.

"It's just this." Gin paused. A minute passed, then two and finally Rangiku bopped him on the head for taking too long.

"Ran-chan," whined Gin before speaking seriously. "They're family."

Another bop. "What the hell Gin! That doesn't explain anything!

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Something I wanted to write. Just some thoughts that's all.


	2. Hueco Muendo

Hueco Muendo was barren and bleak and horribly white. Like vanilla ice cream without sweetness. Its plenty cold at times and sometimes hot.

It could also drive most intelligent people insane, white everywhere, the utterly lack of color and the starkness of black, white and bits of grey. There was no sun either, no earth only sand and sky.

It so VERY boring.

There was literally nothing to do except fight and sleep. It was a great way to keep morale down and to stop intellectually thinking. Aizen was too busy scheming and planning and doing whatever evil overlords do. Gin...

No one cared what Gin did except that it didn't involve them. Tousen played with Wonderwice.

The Espada were left to their own devices. Stark slept. Nnoitra leered and picked fights. Grimmjow the same thing. Halibel went off to her domain and no one really stepped foot there unless they were a woman. Szayel was holed in his lab doing who knows what. The old man was doing what old men do while Zommari mediated and the fish bowl guy stayed in his domain.

Yammi hanged around Ulquiorra due to the fact Ulquiorra did not take the effort to tell Yammi to go away. When Orihime came, Ulquiorra had to baby-sit her and thus Yammi had to go away.

Ulquiorra fed her, made sure she didn't smell funny and generally tried to trap her in his psychological cage.

Tried is the key word.

Like a bird trying to be caged, she batted at her bars and fluttered about. Unlike a bird, she succeeded. Ulquiorra was most likely one of the more responsible Espada and loyal to a fault. Of all the Espada he would resemble a marble statue in appearance and life vibrancy.

Like a wall, like rubber. Everything bounced off him. He was unaffected by the small spats within the Espada and viewed the world with dead eyes. His dead eyes changed and become more lively, more angry, more irritated. He had only one expression, blank. Now he had a few more. Annoyed, pissed off, smug to name a few. Each face can be credited to Orihime and one to Ichigo but that's another story.

Of all the Espada, Aizen would've never expected that it would be Ulquiorra who would fall to Orihime's emotional assault. She was like a freaking machine gun, shooting out so much explosive projectiles and shrapnel. It was ironic, that what she drew of her future self resembled herself more now than later. Ulquiorra wasn't the only one hit. So were the rest of the Espada.

The shrapnel dug in deep and festered. The Espada were dying from the inside out, rotting in a sense.

But in a good sense.

Really.

Totally not excreting the feces of cows.

Orihime, an unstoppable force, railed down on them shining, burning. She was the light to their darkness and she shone like the sun. They burned under her light. From this fire rose something greater. From the ashes came rebirth.

When the group returned from killing Aizen, a renovation was done. The white was splashed with color and paint. Nnoitra wanted to plaster porn pictures in his room and so he did. Aizen's throne was decorated with pink and orange and funny words. Grimmjow did that, with paint all over his fingers, grinning all the way.

Surprisingly Stark got party favors and food from the human world. He brought alcohol as well. Stark was strangely motivated and animated after Aizen's defeat. He took a side trip and came back with bags of food and streamers.

They didn't trust Orihime with food preparation.

Obviously.

They learned their lesson after Zommari had to get his stomach pumped after eating her special cookie. Yammi however didn't and got diarrhea for three hours. Los Noches stunk for those three hours and some more.

They did however had her help in properly decorating the room and making it more festive. None of the Espada had any fashion sense, they lived in a world of white, style didn't matter.

Nnoitra got drunk immediately. He sang a song, failed at DDR, and slumped against the wall, drooling. Alcohol and him don't mix. He was the lucky one.

Stark took his alcohol well. Him and Halibel drank for a while, in a corner, quietly. Grimmjow became a nice drunk and danced around, half-naked singing a Barney song. Ulquiorra did the smart thing and didn't touch the alcohol, he just munched on cake. The old man bypassed the drinking as well opting to make sure the other arrancar are dealt with. Zommari accompanied him. They can't have a coup now could they?

The Espada were King now. They ruled Hueco Muendo. Anyone who wants to challenge them would have good luck trying.

The fish bowl arrancar went back to his domain, no doubt to mope about Rukia. The feelings and memories of Kain still haunt him. Yammi devoured the food and stuffed his face. Szayel stayed and got drunk. Surprisingly he held his liquor well and drank his way through three kegs of beer.

Meanwhile Orihime was politely sipping her drink and organizing games. First was DDR, then karaoke, and interestingly enough stripping from Grimmjow. Thankfully, Ulquiorra stopped Grimmjow before he got too far.

It was a loud and ruckus party filled with lights and music. There was a small fight about the music, Grimmjow wanting rock or death metal and taunting Ulquiorra for his taste in emo punk while Orihime tried to stop the two from fighting over it. Fortunately they picked a music, unfortunately Zommari picked it and it was some sort of zen/yoga thing.

At least it wasn't polka.

If you're asking how Los Noches got electricity, don't. Szyael whipped something out of his bottomless lab, changing how the devices got fueled and made reiatsu converters. Now, for games, you just channel reiatsu and it turns on. It was great for PSP.

Some of the lower ranked arrancar got addicted to the game. You could still hear the sounds of their thumbs beating on the buttons and the occasional curse when they lost.

Meanwhile in Soul Society, the fates of the two remaining traitors were a hot topic. Hot as in Yama-jii was tempted to roast the two fools for being so stupid. His two students had to hold him back from incinerating Gin and Tousen.

Tousen accepted whatever passed in his trial, almost not even trying to defend himself. Fortunately, he still had friends and they still believed in him. They managed to stop the Tousen from getting death penalty and instead got a lesser sentence for Tousen, community service for the next thousand years, probation later for good behavior after the first few centuries.

Tousen didn't really do much against Soul Society aside from collaborating with Aizen. He got off easy, a slap on the wrist and community service for the next thousand years.

Gin however did really bad and naughty things. Toshiro exclaimed loudly that Gin did not deserve community service but death. Gin smiled weakly but said nothing. Everything Toshiro said was true. Gin was a bad man, a manipulative one who scared half of Soul Society. His vice captain, Kira, spoke for Gin, hoping that his words would weigh in for Gin's defense.

Sadly, they weighed in very little. Kira still had emotional attachment to Gin. His view was skewed and biased, thus all of Kira's effort were for not.

However, Gin had one other loud advocator. Matsumoto wanted Gin to have the same sentence as Tousen. While Gin might think Matsumoto was doing it because she loved him, he missed the fact that Matsumoto had to pay Gin back for the lonely nights and heartbreak.

In other words, you can't kick a dead dog and get satisfaction. It has to be alive.

Matsumoto, indeed, has a mean streak in her and it was all being aimed at Gin. Gin was going to get what was coming to him. But first, how to deter his execution? She thought and thought. Gin wasn't nice. He always had a sneaky grin on his face and he does pranks at the expense of others. Gin always terrorized people and never expressed remorse.

It was his nature.

Matsumoto thought hard, long, into the night and suddenly an idea occurred to her. Tousen said the Espada hated Gin. So, that must mean that Gin was no use to Aizen and was a hindrance and not a helpful person. Ergo, that means Gin, like Tousen, didn't do that much against Soul Society.

Thus, Gin deserved a second chance.

The next day, at Gin's trial, Matsumoto had Tousen on the stand.

"Tousen, can you tell me your working relationship with Gin in Hueco Muendo?" Asked Matsumoto, representing Gin, his lawyer in other words.

"We don't have one."

"Can you elaborate?"

"We don't speak to each other or work with each other unless ordered to."

"But you are Aizen's lieutenants; you do not communicate to each other?"

"Speaking to Gin is like walking through a minefield of innuendo and if you want to get your pride squashed you talk to Gin. I prefer not to speak to him."

"Thank you."

The prosecutor stood. "I have no questions."

Tousen was lead back to his cell. Matsumoto took a deep breath. What she was about to do was reckless and most likely get her branded a traitor.

"I have another witness. Two." She prayed her ass won't get fried for this or frozen via Toshiro's temper.

The door opened and a familiar horned shaped Espada and a tall blue haired Espada stood there. Grimmjow was nursing a hangover while Ulquiorra was nonplussed. The courtroom exploded in noise and the drawing of zanpakuto's.

"Shut the hell up!" Snarled Grimmjow, irritated by all the noise. He winced when his own yell resounded in his head. "We're not going to kill people damn it."

More noise.

Grimmjow growled and held his pounding head. He was not in the mood for fighting and he did promise the lady not to hurt or main just to talk shit about Gin who everyone hated. It helped that Orihime gave him the dreaded puppy eyes.

He had no idea why the shingami wanted him to do that but Grimmjow would never pass a chance to trash talk even if his head felt like a mountain fell on it.

He stomped past the shinigami, brushed off their attacks; he would've laughed if it didn't hurt his brain, and sat down on the chair. "Let's start this freaking trial already."

Ulquiorra followed and stood next to him, hands in pockets, nonchalant. They didn't bring their zanpakuto. It made them less menacing and kinda harmless, well as harmless as they could be.

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Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Wants to see if you guys like this.


	3. Strip Poker

It was quiet. A long time ago, before the human came into their world, a long time ago before Aizen came, a time when they were free. A time when the Voste Lorde were in control and the others were but mindless beasts who all wanted to be King.

Then Aizen came. With blood, fire, and destruction he changed the hollows, to control. With his powers, influence, and words he swayed others to follow him. His power was unprecedented and he was ruthless enough to use it.

With his power, he became King and ruled over his subjects.

On bended knee, his Espada served him. With heads bowed, necks shown and minds complying the once powerful hollows became slaves. Slaves to their natural enemy, a shinigami, their enemy.

What a travesty.

Of the Espada, some cared and some didn't. Grimmjow wanted his freedom, wanted to be walk his walk and scream and yell. He would never bow to a weakling. Of all the Espada, Grimmjow was the most problematic.

Unlike Grimmjow, Ulquiorra obeyed without question. He obeyed until an orange haired woman entered his world and made him yearn for the same freedom that she had. Even caged, the small woman had more freedom than Ulquiorra.

The woman used her liberties, her freedom to be herself. Early on, she realized that crying and weeping would not change the world. She knew that mourning forever would only bring more sorrow down.

Cry at your own risk.

The woman became happy. She smiled and laughed. With her good behavior, Aizen allowed her a little bit more leeway. After meeting the Espada, the woman thought of a great way to pass the time.

Game night.

Once a week, they will a play a game, all of them together. It took a lot of effort to get the Espada to even come. Surprisingly, Ulquiorra helped get the other Espada together. He bribed Stark's fraccion to drag Stark to the room. Nnoitra was led in by various pictures of porn. The fish boy one was easily dragged her by mimicking Rukia's voice and the old man came anyways. Zommari was in a meditate state and easily convinced. Halibel came anyways as well. Grimmjow only came when the bragging rights were given to the winner and Grimmjow would never pass up a chance to brag or win. Yammi went wherever Ulquiorra went so that was fairly easy. Szayel had to be dragged out of his lab by dangling a research subject in front of his face like a donkey with a carrot.

Once dragged, they were locked into the room. Gin was there as well, deciding to socialize with the others. Gin and the Espada don't mix for some odd reason. The only reason Gin and Tousen were tolerated was due to the fact Aizen told them to do so.

It was the first night of many nights of Game Night.

Orihime introduced Strip Poker to the Espada.

It progressed well if you were to ignore how most of the males were without clothes and only Halibel, Orihime, Gin and Stark were the only ones with most of their clothes on. The rest were horrible players. As it turned out, Ulquiorra, was a horrible poker player despite having the perfect face.

He was the first Espada who lost his clothes, Grimmjow following him in losing. Nnotira tried his best to make Halibel lose but alas, he sucked as well and never got a chance to see Halibel naked.

Stark bowed out early, and slept in a corner occasionally opening his eyes before shutting them. He did not need to see his fellow male Espada naked, female he wouldn't mind but not the males.

Halibel, with her face hidden by the collar, was able to keep all her clothes on. It helped that she as a good poker player as well.

The game winded down and Gimmjow and Nnoitra got bored. They started talking about length and women. The language got coarse and very perverted. In order to protect Orihime's innocence, Ulquiorra had kindly covered her ears. She covered her own eyes. Ulquiorra was really closer to her and he was STILL naked. Yep, Orihime's innocence died that night, well a part of it did.

This is what Aizen came to see when he opened the door. He immediately closed it muttering something about his virgin eyes, fairly slamming closed in haste.

Strip Poker was thusly banned from Los Noches.

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Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more.


	4. Hunger and Cooking

Hollows hunger.

They are empty and only feel with their baser emotions, instincts. They knew hate. They were, in many ways, the castoffs of a great society. They were evil in a sense, they were black and the shinigami were white. But that was in a perfect world where the hero always win and the villain's personality was flatter than paper.

The reality was that hollows did hate, did feel anger, did relish in blood and souls. That was their nature, it was who they were, who they will always be. Humans are the same way as well. They have a beast inside, supposedly tamed by civilization. But humans had the better deal. They could fee love, they could feel joy and hope.

Hollows know of despair. They know how to give despair but they don't know how to get rid of it.

The Espada knew despair, knew slavery, knew to despise weakness. The hard climb to the top was wrought with blood and guts. It pained the Espada to know their evolution was due to a shinigami, a traitorous shinigami, but still a shinigami.

Now as arrancar, they knew more. Like new born children, they discover and find new things. Some good some bad.

Indigestion, they did not know.

Most hollows are edible and hollows are cannibalistic, they eat their own kind. They also eat souls. So, it puzzled all of the Espada why, Zommari, the judge, was in the bathroom for so long.

"Hey, are you still in there?" Shouted Nnoitra, banging on the door. "You still have the judge the rest of the food."

A loud gurgling sound traveled through the room as did a pungent smell. All those within sniffing distance gagged.

"I told you, we should've saved Orihime's cooking for last." Stated Ulquiorra, safe behind his gas mask. His voice was slightly muffled.

Orihime, was pacing around, worried for Zommari. She too had a gas mask, Ulquiorra insisted, and was puzzled in why she had it on. Again, Ulquiorra insisted.

This whole stinky mess started on a Tuesday. It was always a Tuesday. Even though you can't really tell time in Hueco Muendo, all the problems start on Tuesdays.

It was a boring day and Grimmjow had complained for the umpteenth time about how unappetizing the food was. Arrancar don't need to eat food but it was a way to get through the day without fighting.

Orihime, she was invited, proposed a solution. It went something like this.

"How about we have a cooking contest?"

There was silence. Then a clamor of voices.

"Cooking?" That was Yammi.

"Is there a prize?" Grimmjow, surprisingly without a cuss word.

"Who's going to judge?" Szayel, the logical one, more so than Ulquiorra at times.

"Will Aizen-sama allow this?" Ulquiorra was not one to be beaten in logic.

After some more clamoring, Stark, surprisingly awake, spoke. "Ulquiorra, go ask Aizen-sama for permission. Szayel, prep the kitchens, Zommari you're the judge."

Zommari raised an eyebrow, closed his eyes in a meditative way and nodded. Stark directed the rest of the Espada to do their tasks.

When it was over, everything was set and prepared. There was food, a huge place to cook and the rest of the arrancar were watching with amused faces. Before each Espada was a dish they made. How they knew how to make such dishes was a mystery.

Zommari walked towards the first cook, Orihime. Her plate was curry with rice. It looked normal from her usual food and smelled nice. He tasted her food, turned five different shades of green and sonido'd to the nearest bathroom.

Everyone else stared.

"What the fuck?" Asked Grimmjow eloquently.

And that is why they are in the current situation now.

"What exactly did you put in the food Orihime?" Asked Szayel, pushing his glasses up.

"Tabasco sauce, curry, lemon, salt, peper, beef, rice, celery, spinach, onions, sugar, vinegar, starch and…" She frowned, "I also put in chocolate, wheat, corn, laxatives and this funny green sauce that tasted tangy."

Szayel blanched. "Green sauce? In a small jar?"

Orihime nodded.

Szayel started to bang his head against the wall muttering something about the Philosopher's Stone and all the effort and all the work it took and how it was all lost. He started to cry.

While the Espada were trying to hold their breath in from the smell and anguish of a certain Espada, Gin came in and sampled Orihime's food.

"Yum." He continued to eat it, oblivious to some wandering shocked stares. He would later regret it when he stayed in the bathroom for more than three hours.

It was unknown whether it was Orihime's cooking or the weird green stuff that she put in her food that gave Zommari indigestion. No one wanted to find out.

It was definitely a Tuesday.

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Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Should I expand on the cooking contest? Make a cooking contest part 2 without Orihime cooking?


	5. Cooking part 2

The following next day, the cooking contest was restarted. This time, Zommari was holed up in his domain nursing bowel pains, as was Gin.. Szayel was unapproachable; his crying could be heard from his lab where his fraccion dragged him there last night. It appears he hadn't gotten over the fact that all his hard work was currently somewhere in the sewers.

In the face of such outstanding and somewhat puzzling results, Aizen considered sticking Orihime in her room and locking the door. He didn't need her to be in good spirits at all. Nor did he need her to be happy. But he figured that Stockholm Syndrome is a better and easier route to make her work for them willingly. It seemed to be working but the results weren't as pleasant as he liked them to be. The bathroom smelled.

Early in the morning, he addressed his Espada.

"It appears that due to certain events, it may be prudent to permanently move Orihime to her room and keep her in there." Aizen figured that the Espada would agree or just look at him blankly. He was addressing them out of formality. It wasn't as if their opinions mater that much.

To his surprise, the air grew heavier as the Espada in the room expressed their displeasure at the idea. To his astonishment, Nnoitra was the one to verbally object as well as Grimmjow. To Aizen's knowledge, they both disliked Orihime the most and were vocal in voicing it.

"Le the woman wander." Nnoitra leaned against his chair. "It's not like she's doing any harm."

Aizen wondered what would make Nnoitra consider harmful considering two of the Espada were damaged, one physically the other psychologically.

Tousen spoke as well. He was pleased that Gin was incapacitated. He figured that justice has finally come through for all the unpleasant things Gin did. He chuckled inwardly in glee whilst patting Wonderwice when the news reached his ears.

"I agree with the fifth Espada." Tousen placed in his two cents before melting into the shadows.

Aizen looked at his Espada. They either agreed or had no position on the matter at all.

"Very well, Orihime will be allowed to roam Los Noches but she is banned from the kitchens." Aizen concluded. Various gestures of relief were shown at the last part of his statement.

At this moment, Aizen, had he disregarded the opinions of his Espada as he has before, his ultimate and rather untimely demise would have been averted. As an evil overlord, he made a mistake. It wasn't the mistake of underestimated his opposition, he already had them pegged down to a tee but it was his underestimating of his victim.

He should have broken her the day she came to Hueco Muendo or made her into an arrancar. He should have broken her spirit. He should have rendered her into a puppet, a broken and mute puppet. Her power was too great, too immeasurable, without limits and bounds to be let loose, to be on the shinigami's side. He was current in his assessment that the power is only limited by the wielder and by all rights and in a perfect strategic mind was to bend the wielder's will under his own. But he didn't. Perhaps it was out of amusement or just plain arrogance that he allowed her to remain free.

He did no know that Orihime was not the bubbly fun person she was outside. He did not know that of the group, she was the stranger, the outsider. He did not know the depressing emotions that lurked within. All he saw was her power and how similar her temperament was to Momo and how fun it would be to do the process all over again.

Orihime knew pain, knew fear, and knew all about the darker sides of human emotions. She didn't let this bring her down though. Her own inner strength allowed her to live, allowed her to thrive. She couldn't let her brother down, couldn't let herself down. She might have been happy not knowing Ichigo. She might have died happy. But nothing ends in a happy fairy tales, she had power and with power comes great pain.

But her power was nothing if she didn't have the will to do anything with it. There was a brief moment in which she held a tiny sliver of herself and wished she was dead. Wished that she wouldn't be a burden to her friends. Wished that she was with her brother again. She knew what Soul Society was, she knew there was an afterlife. While she may not be able to retain her memories, she would find him again. Even though Ichigo was unable to find his own mother, Orihime was sure she would find her brother. Or he would find her.

In that brief moment, that time when she stared at the moon, gazing at it, thoughts lost she realized she wanted to die. Her actions may have prolonged her friend's existence but she knew it was only a small relief. Aizen had planned far too long and too extensively to not be able to predict the enemies movements. She was just an extra pawn, currently not expendable now but not usable either.

Orihime knew that if she died, her friends would live on. They would live on and survive, grow stronger and be better prepared for the war. They didn't need her. Not truly, not the way they needed Ichigo or Rukia. The people she came to regard as friends didn't need her. She was the stand by, the person who stood on the sideline with the first aid kit, ready to heal, ready to sooth. Her time has passed. It was time for her to move on. Her last act was to protect them from Ulquiorra.

She knew they would come. They would attempt to rescue her. Orihime hoped it wasn't out of duty but out of friendship. She knew they would do it out of both and she was grateful for that. But she wanted so much that they would come, not out of duty but out of the need to rescue her for friendship, to be with her again. It was a selfish desire.

Orihime would've have ended it. Rejection powers or not, to her, she had done her part and now it was time for the big guns to take over. It was only due to Ulquiorra's constant vigilance and his eyes that looked at her so blankly she could see herself in them. Those eyes reflected the moon in them and something in those dead eyes made her feelings stir. It started with a request to get outside her room, then to meet the other Espada. Pretty soon, they had a monster on their hands, a monster that would smother you with laughter and chatter.

Orihime may or may not have been needed on Earth but in Hueco Muendo a new calling resounded. She may not have noticed but she was changing them, making them think outside of the blank sands and walls, and hope that their destiny was not to be cut down by a shinigami's blade. She made Ulquiorra dream. She would be their light to their darkness and they would in turn be her light to her darkness.

She cared for them. She wanted to them to be safe. And the Espada knew that she was true and she wasn't lying or faking. She cared because she did, whether or not they were killers or murders.

She cared.

It was Aizen's mistake to seriously underestimate Orihime. It was one of the few, he wouldn't live to regret.

Later on, an hour after the meeting, the news was delivered to Orihime. She was devastated. Ulquiorra compromised with her, promising to prepare her dinner the way she wants them to be prepared. He didn't really have a choice. She unleashed her 'puppy dog eye' look on him and he got a full blast of it. Unlike most poisons, one cannot gain immunity by being exposed several times.

Later on, the cooking contest was still being held. This time Orihime was made the judge. Szayel's dish had mutated into some weird purple thing. No doubt, he had planned for Zommari to be his newest test subject. In a way, it was actually helpful that he tasted Orihime's dish first. Who knows what horror Szayel would have unleashed on Zommari.

The contest went on, with no accidents or fighting. Orihime tasted each and everyone one's dish. She wrote down her observations on her note.

Grimmjow's dish was jello shaped into a cat. Everything else was in whip cream, the whiskers, the eyes, and fur designs. Orihime gave it a four.

Stark's dish was a tuna fish from a can. His score was the second lowest.

Halibel made a ten layer chocolate cake with strawberry frosting. The insides were chocolate moose for one layer and chocolate moose for the next. It was in alternating layers. Orihime gave it a six.

Nnoitra's dish was also made out of some sauce that resembled an unmentionable. For his troubles, Ulquiorra bala'd the thing out of existence while Halibel smacked him upside the head. Orihime gave him a one point five for effort. She didn't really get to see what he had after Ulquiorra incinerated it. She was also puzzled in why Nnoitra was lying on the floor with a bump on his head.

Ulquiorra made something out of ice. It looked like a fairy, six fairies in fact. Sadly, while the ice sculpture looked very pretty and meticulously done it was not edible no matter how much she tried to bit it. In the end, Ulquiorra crushed it and made an icee out of it. Orihime gave him a five for effort and beauty.

The old man made fish flambé. It looked very crispy and very black. Not to mention was it was still raw in the inside and crunchy on the outside. He got a three.

The Ichigo-Kaien-look alike's dish was hollow lizard with stick through it. That was his dish. It was still moving. Orihime poked at it curiously before letting it free and healing it. It didn't run away but stayed perched on her shoulder where Ulquiorra was glaring holes into it. He got a two.

Yammi surprisingly made a meat and vegetable pot. It was spicy with a distinctly curry flavor and yet sweet. The veggies were crunchy and crisp, some a tiny bit sour. The meat tasted like chicken and was juicy. Yammi got a ten.

When the cooking contest was over, Yammi's reward was a smooch on the cheek from Orihime and he didn't have to do anything for a week. Stark wanted that reward while Ulquiorra glared holes in Yammi's back. It seems Ulquiorra was glaring holes at everyone lately, first the lizard hollow and now Yammi. It was puzzling and no one had a clue in why. Well, Nnoitra did but Ulquiorra would never fail in making Nnoitra shut up whenever the topic was brought up.

KKKKK

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...Let's make Szayel stop crying!


	6. Szayel and fireball

They were old and they were young. They have been around for centuries, eating and killing. Within them is the history of thousands of humans. As hollows, they had a potential long life span. As arrancar, they were children, adolescents.

They were young and they were old. When they were created, the artificial ones, they first see Aizen. They remember their name, maybe a snippet of their past existence. They do not remember much, it wouldn't do for Aizen to have his minions have secret desires and dreams. Some remember more than others, some are more driven, some are more depressed and some are just plain crazy.

The arrancar are old and young, relics but new. If only they could tap into their past and learn about who they were, perhaps then they would be more powerful, stronger or weaker.

Old and yet young, young and yet old.

They were living contradictions.

Freaks in other words.

And of them all, Szayel was a great and knowledgeable freak. His domain, his lab was a place where if you're not under orders or powerful you won't walk out under your own power. You would either be carried out or discreetly dumped into the trash bin or served as lunch.

That's how touchy Szayel is about his lab.

Which was why Ulquiorra was trying, oh so desperately, to stop Orihime from walking into the lab. He tried to distract her with food, a trip to the Living World; he even went as far as to offer himself as a living mannequin for her 'experiments'. None of his ideas worked. The idea of just knocking her out has yet to enter his mind. It seems that as he spends more time with her, his mind just goes into a funny zone where it doesn't seem to be working properly. He didn't want to tell Aizen because that would be really embarrassing to admit a small human woman was making him act funny and he would be no doubt lowered in rank for incompetence.

Little did he know, the other Espada were in the same straights.

But he didn't know. So that was why he was being dragged along towards Szayel's lab entrance.

Orihime wanted to help Szayel since it was her fault that he was a crying wreck. Normally Szayel can bounce back from lab incidents and mistakes. But this one took the cake. Szayel's brainchild, the Philosopher's Stone, a legendary object said to give immortality and turn lead into gold was somewhere in the incinerator. Szayel didn't care about the immortality or the gold but the fact it can change one piece of matter into another thing was worth the effort, it was pride, the pride of being a scientist, the pride of creating something no other being ever have.

It took hours of work, much disappointment, and many close calls. The green goop was an important component of the process. With that, it will initiate the catalyst and make the stone. He had it with him, walking towards the kitchens; he needed to store it in a container. All the containers he had in the lab were either being used or being cleaned.

He found an adequate container and sealed it air shut. It was at the exact moment that Grimmjow came roaring through looking for ingredients for his entrée. In the ensuing scuffle, Szayel had the presence of mind to lock it away and got out of Grimmjow's frantic search. He was then dragged out of the kitchen and his container was left in the kitchens.

I

n all the panic and disorder, Szayel forgot about the green chemical. He remembered when Orihime informed him that she put it in her food and Zommari was currently ejecting from his body.

For two straight days, he cried. The normally uptight and calm Espada was crying like a big baby. Something, something broke inside and Szayel just cried. His emotions were like roller coaster, going up, down and loopy de loop. It wasn't just this incidence, it was others. All the accumulating emotion was held at bay and finally the dam broke and he swept away.

It wasn't only tears but angry, disgust, hate and depression. All the emotions he repressed under his mask of calm were running rampant. In a way, he was acting like a drug addict that was going cold turkey, the withdrawal systems were a bitch.

That was how Orihime found him, in a corner, in a fetal position, twitching and sweating. The fraccion allowed her in, after her reassurances that she won't touch anything. It also helped that Ulquiorra was with her.

"Szayel-san?" She asked, her voice soft, nervous.

Szayel didn't move. Around him, the ruins of his lab were there for all to see. He went through a rampage ripping his notes, destroying his equipment and scaring his fraccion shitless. His fraccion was used to his bouts of insanity but this was too emotional for Szayel, too out of the norm. They were scared, not just for themselves but Szayel's lab has many very dangerous chemicals. Chemicals that shouldn't be mixed.

Remember that.

Anyways, Orihime repeated Szayel's name several times. After the eighth time, Szayel swung his head up to look at her. His normally bright and curious eyes were empty. They were reminiscent of Ulquiorra's eyes but these blank eyes looked_ wrong_ on Szayel.

What happened next was a misunderstanding. Ulquiorra thought Szayel was lunging at Orihime. He had good reason to think that. Logically this whole mess was Orihime's fault and Szayel does have a vengeful streak in him. So logically, Ulquiorra stepped up, blocking Szayel, pushing Orihime back.

Orihime was pushed back and she slipped. Reflexively she grabbed onto the table counter to balance herself. After such a long time in her cell doing nothing, she was not as physically capable as before. She managed to steady herself, grabbing onto some very delicate instruments.

A jar of liquid tipped over from all the movement. That jar crashed into another and another. A chemical reaction occurred. Seconds later, a column of fire appeared, going straight to the sky. This fire was so bright, for the first time, it was daylight in Hueco Mundo. Some arrancar were blinded by the pure brightness. Others were smart enough to look away.

Meanwhile in the lab, all stared as the shield kept them away from the destructive power of a rather enormous explosion. While her shield kept the extreme explosive and radioactive energy away, it did nothing for the heat. The burning smell and the bubling of the floor was an indication. The Espada were not affected but Orihime was. Her outstretched hands were blistering, her skin was peeling and she was bleeding. The ends of her clothes caught on fire but she continued.

Thankfully, the blast had a short life and it died leaving a gaping hole in the lab, a melted sludge floor from where it ripped through the table and slammed into the ground. A blast of that power and if given room, it would've annihilated Los Noches and all those inside it. Only the strongest and quickest would've survived.

Orihime panted from exhaustion. Keeping the explosion contained took all her power, all her will. She then fainted in Ulquiorra's conveniently placed arms.

"Out." Szayel said calmly, his clothes dirty. He ripped off his robes. "Research is needed. Your presence is not."

Ulquiorra frowned. "What?" He could not understand this sudden mood change. Pleased but confused.

"Out Ulquiorra. I need to catalogue all the residual energies in order to recreate this incident." Szayel's mask gleamed. He seemed to have snapped out of his funk.

Ulquiorra carried the unconscious Orihime in a bridal style. "Very well." He did not disagree with Szayel and Orihime was injured.

He left as a different sound grew louder and louder, not the sound of sobbing but Szayel's cackle.

A few hours later, a fraccion came by from Szayel holding a precious cargo. Orihime squealed loudly and hugged the round fraccion.

It was a miniature tree, a bonsai. Now, in her stark white room there is a blotch of color, a flash of green and brown with a turquoise marble container.

She had no clue why Szayel gave it to her but she sent him a thank you card. She also wondered why Ulquiorra had a slight twitch on his face when she asked him to deliver it to Szayel.

Simply put, logically, Ulquiorra did not want to step in Szayel's domain. Emotionally, he bemoaned that she never gave him a thank you card for all the things he _did _for her. Then again, she probably didn't notice and that drew him in further gloomy thoughts. Despite hating her in the beginning, she was warming up to him. She wasn't that annoying, she pestered him less and doesn't even cry anymore.

For a brief second, Ulquiorra wondered if he rather have her cry. He dismissed the thought. Having her cry was less pleasing that watching her smile, even if she smiled because Grimmjow did a stupid thing.

As long as she was smiling, he would be content.

A childish desire but does he not have a right? He might have been an old hollow but now as an arrancar he was a child. He was young. In fact, Orihime was older than him and yet he felt older than her. It must be the maturity. Of all of them, despite being older, she was the most immature of them all. Also, Aizen-sama did order him to keep her healthy. So he was doing his job.

As Ulquiorra walked, he smiled inwardly to himself. He truly must be going insane. Referring to the woman as one of them? Insanity.

Yes, that was the answer.

KKKKK

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions?


	7. Omake pt 1

Hollow King.

The Hollow King was ruler of the Hollows. It, he, she kept them in line. Mobilized or dispersed the hollows. Behind the Hollow King were the Voste Lorde. And behind them were the rest of the hollows.

But where was the King? Where did it, he, she go?

It was logical to assume that something happened because how else did Aizen ascend the throne? No King would willingly allow anyone to usurp it, she, he.

Unlike Soul Society, the Voste Lorde knew what their King looked like. So when he,it,she disappeared they too vanished deep into Hueco Mundo. Some allied themselves with Aizen while others waited for their King to return.

When the King returns Aizen would be screwed. It was that simple. No matter how powerful Aizen was there was no way he could defeat the Hollow King. It was fortunate for him that said Hollow King was not in Hueco Mundo.

When Ichigo and his team went into Hueco Mundo, he had managed to drag along with him, the vizards and Yourichi. Ichigo did something, promised/bribed/blackmailed the group to help them, also it helped that Shinji had a crush for Orihime. So when Toushiro's group appeared to help him along with Rukia and Renji the rescue force was rather large. That was the only reason they weren't dead. Even though Ichigo didn't know it with him there were a force of half a dozen former captains with him. Ichigo didn't know the exact power of the vizard but he knew they were powerful enough.

They hacked a bloody swathe through Los Noches, going all the way to the throne room. It was there that all hell broke loose. There, waiting for them, were the Espada and Aizen on his throne.

The two opposing forces engaged.

The group split off, each fighting there own opponents. It irritated Ichigo that Aizen was still sitting on his throne looking down on them with that annoying smile on his face. It was foolish but he feinted, dodging Grimmjow's attack and jumped up to slash down on Aizen's smirking face.

He never made it. Like before, Aizen caught his sword and instead of cutting him in half, pushed him away with the most elementary of kido spells. Ichigo went flying, smashing into the wall with a thud.

With his one uninjured eye, he watched, unable to move, as Grimmjow bore down on him.

"Die you orange haird brat!" Snarled Grimmjow, swinging down with his zanpakuto.

Time slowed down as Ichigo stared at his impending death. He closed his eyes not wanting to see the blade slice into his body.

"That wasn't nice was it." Said a pleasant voice, it sounded familiar but he could not pinpoint who exactly.

Ichigo risked an eye peek.

A delicate hand had stopped Grimmjow's strike. The hand was attached to a body that was adorned in a human school uniform. Ichigo could see Grimmjow's frustration and the straining of muscle as he tried to yank his zanpakuto from the person's grip.

All combatants stopped with an oppressing reiatsu appeared, sending them down on bended knee. Strangely enough, it wasn't Aizen's reiatsu.

"Now that I have your attention, can you all listen?" The man smiled lightly, releasing his hold on Grimmjow's zanpakuto.

The others couldn't say much due to them trying to stand with dignity. The Espada were doing better than most, although Yammi was stuck to the floor. Only Aizen was able to stand and walk calmly over to the stranger.

"What do you want?"

"Have you seen a medium sized girl about this tall?" The stranger indicated with a hand. "She has long orange hair and two hairpins. Have you seen her?"

Aizen grinned and lied smoothly. "No."

The stranger sighed. "You are such a horrible liar." He then put a hand through Aizen's chest.

Aizen keeled on the floor, spitting out blood. The stranger turned to the other people in the room. "Now, where was I? Oh yea…I was wondering have you seen a girl called Orihime?"

KKKKK

For those who are going WTF……….this is off the crack lines, and it's just something for fun. Okay, don't shoot me or anything. I'll probably add a chapter or two. This is all for laughs though so don't abandon it. I'll even properly label it as an Omake.

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions?


	8. Omake pt 2

The Soul King and the Hollow King are two polar opposites. They are on different sides of the team. Despite that, they have a somewhat cordial relationship. They were enemies for thousands of years, over the course of time they understood their position and there was no bad blood between them.

Their subordinates however are another story.

Anyways, somewhere, somehow, the Soul King disappeared about the same time the Hollow King did. Shinigami may not notice but the royal guard did. The Hollows noticed their King's disappearance and the majority of the Voste Lorde vanished deeper into Huceo Mundo.

How else did Aizen take over Hueco Mundo. There was no else to wrestle the throne from. Any shinigmai who enters Hueco Mundo risk getting eaten or tortured, most likely eaten. So what Aizen did was not only monumental, it was historic. He was the only shinigami actually go into Hueco Mundo and surviving.

There are some kudos to be given. Despite him being a rather ruthless bastard there is credit to be given, merits as well.

Anyways, back to the story (or documentary as some reviewers say).

KKBreaking Fourth Wall. Must repairXX

O.O O.O O.O . . . . T.T T.T T.T

KKDone, ResumingXX

The stranger exuded hollow power and the distinct smell. But there was no mask, no visible hole. The stranger looked like a normal human. In a span of seconds, he took Aizen down and now strange figures had appeared. Each figure was humanoid, but not arrancar and they had a hole in their bodies, proudly displayed. Six in total.

"Voste Lorde." Murmured Halibel, those within earshot flinched. Halibel wondered why those words were so familiar to her and why the Voste Lorde looked familiar. In her short existence as an arrancar she did see any Voste Lorde and barely remembered what she was before her ascension. Artifical arrancarnation is given at the cost of their memories.

The Voste Lorde ranged from tall to short, different hair, different body sizes, each with a mask on their face and their horribly powerful reiatsu pushing down on all. The shinigami and vizard in the room had never felt such power and so much power all in one room. It didn't do the rescue team any good that the Voste Lorde were positively smirking at them.

Nope. It didn't.

But then again, the Espada were in the same straits. The weaker ones couldn't move while the stronger ones were struggling against the oppressive atmosphere.

The stranger waited for someone to speak up before sighing. "Oh well." He shrugged. "I already know where she is. I just wanted to see if anyone would be truthful."

He poked Aizen with a shoe-clad foot. "Hey, you still alive?"

No answer.

The stranger stepped down on Aizen. "Stupid illusions."

To everyone's surprise, Aizen's body disappeared.

The stranger combed his hair back. "Now-"

Grimmjow's fist interrupted his maybe possible eloquent speech, we will never know. Grimmjow didn't like having his prey stolen from him, nor did he like a weak looking person stop his attack. So he did the only thing he knew how to do. He started a fight. He swung his fist at the boy certain he would knock his head off. Or at the very least make him go flying like a bird into a glass window. The only reason Grimmjow could move was due to pure stubbornness and will. Also, the Voste Lorde were curious as to what this blue haired Espada will do.

The stranger caught Grimmjow's fist with one hand, and smacked Grimmjow's forehead with the other hand. "Should'a got a V8!" To add insult to injury, the stranger made a victory sign with his hand.

Grimmjow went flying at the force of the tap. He crashed into the wall, creating dust and loud crashing sounds. Any normal person would've gave up at the point. Clearly, the stranger had some power to be able to catch Grimmjow's fist and push him away.

But Grimmjow was not a normal person. He was a person who battled until he dies permanently. "Cero!" A beam of red light exited the dust, heading straight at the stranger and Ichigo, since he was within the vicinity.

With a casualness that screamed arrogance, the stranger batted away the cero as if it was nothing. The cero went awry and smashed into the assembled Voste Lorde. When the dust cleared, the Voste Lorde still stood there, clothes without dust or tear. They did not move or block it. They took it, and stayed there, unmoving like statues.

Grimmjow stared at the unaffected stranger. "Who the hell are you!"

A Voste Lorde answered, mirth in its voice. "Be careful who you speak to Ajuchas."

Grimmjow bristled. "Shut the fuck up." He glared at the assembled Voste Lordes. "I can say whatever the hell I want."

The stranger laughed. "There is no need for cursing. I do believe there is a misunderstanding." The stranger paused. "I am the Hollow King. It is a pleasure to meet you all."

The world froze. Grimmjow stared at the boy. "You're lying." He shouted. He wanted to be King and right now, this boy was challenging him by proclaiming a title that should be Grimmjow's. A small voice was whispering to him franticly. It asked one question over and over again.

Whom do Voste Lorde follow?

Grimmjow ignored the voices as he always did and charged up a special attack. "Gran Ray Cero."

The blast thundered through the air, straight towards the so-called Hollow King. The blast smacked into the stranger's outward palm. It was a powerful force against what seems to be an unmovable object. The floor cracked and shattered underneath his feet. The stranger was being pushed back, slowly, ever so slowly.

Unlike a regular cero, the stranger was unable to bat this one away. Due to his overwhelming curiosity, he wanted to see if he actually could block this attack and as such, did not prepare himself to deflect it.

With a huge explosion, it exploded, taking out several wall and nearly taking Ichigo out as well. One of the Voste Lorde had grabbed Ichigo and dragged him out of there, dumping the shinigami substitute with his friends before returning to its post.

Dust filled the air, masking the destruction. There was a lot of dust.

"HAHAAHAH." Shouted Grimmjow. "No one makes a fool out of Grimmjow especially a weakling like yourself."

The dust cleared and the stranger was still standing there. The only damage on him was the ripped sleeves. Other than that, he was unharmed, uninjured. Grimmjow stared slack jawed.

"Was that your best shot?" Said the stranger, a sneer on his face. "Let me try."

Before the stranger could try, Grimmjow leapt at him, fists flying. If cero's won't work then brute force. Grimmjow was not going to lose to this moron. With ease, and quickness, the stranger placed a hand on Grimmjow's head and pushed down. With a deafening crash, Grimmjow slammed face first into the floor.

"You should learn your place ajuchas." Said the King with a smile, he grinded Grimmjow's face into the ground with a foot.

"Oy, Alfonso can you hold him down for me?" The King motioned to one of the Voste Lorde. The same one that spoke before went over and placed a foot on Grimmjow's body. Alfonso was as tall as Grimmjow but with fiery red hair. The Voste Lorde then proceeded to sit on Grimmjow.

The King looked at his audience. He took a step towards them, shrugging off the voste lorde's spiritual pressure like it was nothing. "Now, it is time for some people to remember who they were and where their loyalties lie."

Ulquiorra, Stark, Halibel and Barrigan all promptly collapsed.

"Oops..I might have gone too strong." The King winced. "Alma, check on their condition. Can't have them dying on me now, now can I?"

Alma did as she was told; the medium sized Voste Lorde, with bright green hair and vibrant purple eyes silently checked on the four Espada's conditions.

Hitsugaya spoke, his voice hesitant. "Who are you?" In a matter of seconds, this one being and his Voste Lorde gang just demolished the Espada. He knew, paranoid that he was, that Aizen wasn't dead but he also knew that Aizen wasn't one to abandon his plans. Aizen was still somewhere and he will end Aizen.

"I am the Hollow King." The King bowed at the waist. "These are the Voste Lorde. These six remained loyal to me even when I went off the spiritual map and stayed loyal when the shinigami came. The other four…well we shall see where their loyalties lie."

Hitsugaya's mind whirled furiously as it processed the new information. There were now ten Voste Lorde but not under Aizen's control. This was good and yet bad. Would this King want to attack Soul Society?

"What are your plans?"

The King shrugged. "Dunno really. I just woke up and found out a rat was running my kingdom. I guess I'll clean house first, get what I want and then…kill you all?"

Hitsugaya blanched at the last part of his sentence. If that was indeed the King's intention, then the shinigami stood no chance. Even with the help of the vizards Hueco Mundo was hollow central and their team was injured. Despite the power at their disposal, numbers are a dangerous enemy more so than power.

The door creaked open and an orange haired woman peeked her head in. "Excuse me?"

All heads turned to stare at her. She stared back and then caught sight of an unconscious Ulquiorra. "Ulquiorra!" She zoomed into the room.

What amazed everyone was how she just zeroed down on the clown faced Espada and ignored everyone else. Ichigo stared at her, mouth open in shock, jaw slack.

"Inoue!" Ichigo shouted, trying to her attention.

He did.

She turned to look at Ichigo. "Kurosaki-kun!" Her eyes traveled to each of her rescuers. "Ishida-kun, Renji-kun, Sado-kun, Rukia-chan, Toshiro-kun, Rangiku-kun, Yourichi-sama, Shinji-san, Kensei-san, Love-san,Mashiro-san, Rose-san, Hiyori-san, Hachi-san, and Lisa-san!" She said all this in one breath. Again people wondered who she could do that. Then again, she did have practice at rambling.

Her eyes traveled to a familiar face. A familiar dead face.

"Sora?" Her hands traveled to cover her mouth. "Onii-sama?"

The Hollow King, Sora Inoue, grinned, and waved. "Hi Hime-chan. Long time no see."

KKKKK

For those who are going WTF……….this is off the crack lines, and it's just something for fun. Okay, don't shoot me or anything. I'll probably add a chapter or two. This is all for laughs though so don't abandon it. I'll even properly label it as an Omake.

Alfonso is the name of a voste lorde that my dear friend Runki offered. As is Alma. That's it. They are OC but…not Mary Sue or Gary Sue. Cause…yea they're the minions. And very good minions too. Also, don't throw a cow okay people! Explanations are on the next chapter. Be patient.

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? As you read this Omake I'm have a road block with a landslide. Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?


	9. Omake 3 END

They all stared.

"What!" Ichigo shouted. "That's impossible!"

Sora shrugged. "Perhaps I should explain."

"No duh." Ichigo shot back.

"I am the Hollow King. I am also Sora. Sora was my human persona that I developed when I was human." Sora continued, ignoring the looks. "Now that I am myself again, this most recent and rather irritating personality is still there. It's also amusing."

Ichigo's eye twitched. He thought back on the very small encounter he had with Sora, violent it may be, and wondered if Sora was still somewhere inside the Hollow King.

As if he read Ichigo's mind, the King answered. "I am still the very ruthless and powerful being I was before I got reborn as a human, I just has more recent memories of being human than that truly made me a more well rounded person."

The King, Sora, smirked. "Despite some of the weird human quirks I happen to like this." He waltz over to Orihime and hugged her.

He was so real to her. So alive. Smelling him again brought back memories, the good and the bad. She sniffled and then stomped hard on his foot, his foot being the Hollow King's foot.

"Ow!" Sora yelped in reflex. "What did you do that for?"

Orihime wiped away her tears. "To make sure you're real."

Sora grumbled. "Goody." He patted her on the head. "Remember Hime-chan, you knee them in the balls."

Orihime nodded.

Everyone stared at the siblings/adopted-siblings/crazy people. Everyone except the Voste Lorde who already know about their lord's craziness. Although some of the weirdness was new, it was still their lord and their lord could crush them.

"Well, now that was explained." Sora looked around. "Aizen, get your ass in view or else I will vaporize everything you did. Even your precious creations."

To solidify his position, he charged up a cero. Reiatsu collected at his fingertip, making it glow life a miniature sun. "I'm sure this will hurt you more, than it'll hrut me."

No one appeared. Sora shrugged. "Not my loss." He then vaporized the adjacent wall and the various arrancar and hollows in the way. A cold wind blew in at the new opening in the room.

"Ah…there you are." The Hollow King, slashed with his right hand vertically, stopped by a blade. "Gotcha."

He vanished, reappearing right behind Aizen and kicking him in the kidneys. This time, Aizen went down. The real Aizen. "Neyah bastard I win again!"

Aizen coughed loudly, soothing his nearly crushed throat. He had no clue what the Hollow King was talking about.

"So what are you doing here? In my realm? With my minions?"

"He's trying to kill the Soul King." Shouted Ichigo. "And become King in his place.

Hitsugaya shot a glare at Ichigo for speaking before him. Hitsugaya would've added a request for the Hollow King to kill Aizen for them.

Sora's reaction was strange. An eyebrow was raised and a thinning of the lips before a snorted laughed. "Are you serious? Hah. Fucking crazy." He snickered. "And here I thought I got a bad deal."

Aizen again had no clue what was going on, as was everyone else. He didn't wonder again after Sora stabbed him through the torso.

Sora threw Aizen corpse at the shinigami. "Leave, twerps. You too hybrid shinigami. And take the fool with you."

The group didn't know what to say or do. They came here for Orihime and it seems they won't be getting her. At least Aizen was dead.

A garganta opened up, a few yards away from them. "Leave shinigami. I don't run a charity organization nor do I keep pets. So Go Away." He make a shooing motion with his hand.

Hitsugaya made his decision. They were leaving. The vizards followed, reluctant. The path most certainty ended in Soul Soceity and it has been a long time since they have been there. The humans were the last to leave.

"Inoue, come with us." Pleaded Ichigo, eyes desperate. He wanted to protect her and here he was now, unable to do so.

Orihime was torn. Should she go with Ichigo, her dearest friend or stay with Hueco Mundo? She was certain that her powers weren't needed anymore and now that Aizen was dead, she was safe. Hueco Mundo shouldn't be a place where she wanted to stay but something kept her here. It wasn't Sora but something else.

"Just leave, you brat." Snapped Sora, kicking Ichigo in with his foot. The garganta snapped shut in Ichigo's face.

Days later, one could find Ulquiorra and Sora sitting in a room, formely Aizen's but now his.

"Ulquiorra…welcome back, crown prince." Sora said, sitting lounged on the chair, in a sprawled position.

Ulquiorra inclined his head.

"So…here are some……rules I want you to follow." Sora leaned forward.

Ulquiorra looked at the King blankly.

Before he knew it, he was pressed against the floor, face first. He could hear his King whisper to him in his ear. "If you ever look at my sister in any strange way or touch her, I will kill you. I will rip your eyes out, crush your arms and legs. I will take your innards and drape them around the room as decoration. That will be but a small preview of what is to come if you disobey me. Most of all, you will still be alive. I will continue this process until I feel you have suffered enough before I obliterate your existence."

Two months later, Sora and Orihime sat in the same room, in the same chairs. Orihime looked nervous and was fiddling with her fingers. Her last two months at Hueco Mundo were enjoyable. With her adopted brother/Sora/ Hollow King, no one dared to anything to her. But as time went by they warmed up and she loved being here.

"What's the matter Hime-chan?" Sora drank his Cola. He got the minor arrancar doing errands, getting all sorts of sweets and pastries delivered to Hueco Mundo. During his time as a human, he gained a love for eating Real Food, other than souls.

"I'm…" Orihime took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

Sora spat out his Cola and proceeded to choke.

Two hours later, loud explosions and yelling could be heard.

"Get back here, you clown faced bastard! I'm going to rip you apart!" Guess who.

More explosions.

"Please don't hurt him Onii-sama!" Orihime couldn't really run that fast so she asked Grimmjow to carry her.

"Stay still dammit! Don't move, I'm going to castrate you!"

Meanwhile in Soul Society, Aizen gazed at the sky.

"I am the Soul King. I tried to take over my own throne and kill myself to become King." He was depressed and embarrassed. Who the heck tries to take over their own throne? Morons, that's who.

'That's irony for you' muttered Hyourinmaru in his spirit form. 'At least you weren't put in a sword and wielded by a child.'

"True."

The two great spirits paused.

"I bet Karma is laughing her ass off." Muttered Aizen, the Soul King. "She's the only one who could orchestrate this."

Hyourinmaru agreed but he wasn't stupid enough to say it out loud.

Up in Karma land, Karma laughed her ass off. They may be great Gods and Kings but she was Karma. There wasn't nothing they could do about it.

KKKKK

For those who are going WTF……….this is off the crack lines, and it's just something for fun. Okay, don't shoot me or anything. I'll probably add a chapter or two. This is all for laughs though so don't abandon it. I'll even properly label it as an Omake.

Alfonso is the name of a voste lorde that my dear friend Runki offered. As is Alma. That's it. They are OC but…not Mary Sue or Gary Sue. Cause…yea they're the minions. And very good minions too. Also, don't throw a cow okay people! Explanations are on the next chapter. Be patient.

Bwahahah…my Hollow King…is kinda OC's ish but not really cause he's gone now!...

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?

And now!...Back to the show!! Next chapter will have the following dialogue…

"Why the hell are you hitting me?" Shouted Noi. "I'm the one getting molested!"

"Oops." Orihime squeaked out.

Read and wonder!


	10. Porn and Healing

It has been a week since the spectacular fireball and Szayel's recovery. The rest of the week has gone well, no major explosions or accidents. It was rather quiet.

Aizen took this opportunity to advise Ulquiorra to train Orihime or rather ordered him. Aizen needed Orihime's abilities to be top notch. In other words, Aizen needed Orihime to be able to heal the Orb quickly. If Wonderwice was anything to go on, the Orb was losing energy and soon would be of no use to him. Aizen still need to bolster his army. He needed more cannon fodder.

That was why Ulquiorra was cutting into his arm, using his fingernails to slice through his tough skin.

"Are you emo?" Asked Orihime, worried.

Ulquiorra frowned. He did not know emo was but from what he could gather from the context clues Orihime gave him, he would surmise it would have something to do with cutting.

"Doesn't that hurt?" She asked again, her worry increasing. It wasn't everyday that her guardian comes in and cuts his arm.

He was dripping blood onto the floor.

"Heal this."

Orihime stared at the arm again. "You sure you're not emo? You do have eyeliner and the pale face for it." But it made Ulquiorra looked very dignified. Not many could look emo and still be respected. It helped that he had ultimate pawnage power.

Ulquiorra felt an eye twitch. Ninety percent of the time, Orihime was quiet. The last ten percent she was unbearable and very random. She was never dull though. Everything that comes out of her mouth was something that causes him to think and get a migraine.

"Heal this woman." Aizen-sama ordered him to make Orihime's will stronger. That way, her powers would be much stronger. Having her heal him repeatedly would make it a routine so when the war does start, they would be able to have more warriors out fighting than the shinigami. Even death would be no determent.

When she opened her mouth to speak, he used his uninjured hand to clamp her mouth shut. "No words."

Willpower is a powerful thing especially for someone whose abilities revolve around such a thing. Unlike others, Ulquiora does not shout out his attack, rather he says it calmly, clearly and then nukes their ass.

He would rather have Orihime like himself than like Grimmjow. The blue haired Espada had a habit of laughing like a madman. Him and Nnoitra.

This morbid ritual continued for several days, occupying both Orihime and Ulquiorra. Most of the Espada were interested as in why the pale faced arrancar was spending so much time with Orihime. Nnoitra had some lewd comments and ideas while the more logical of the group came to the correct idea that Ulquiorra was on a mission. They had no idea why that mission kept him Orihime's room or what it entailed.

After a few days of vigorous work Ulquiorra was confident enough in Orihime's ability to report to Aizen about his success.

All of the Espada were gathered in the throne room. It was an Aizen mandated order. You cannot say no, you cannot say 'I'm sleeping' or 'screw you'.

Orihime was happy that her powers are now far more advanced but she was also apprehensive. Aizen wanted her to demonstrate. That could only mean someone was going to horribly maimed. And it was going to be all her fault.

As she predicted, an unknown arrancar was being led into the room by Yammi. From the attire, the arrancar was female and a healer. A perseon with weak battle powers but heals.

Without a word, Yammi slams his fist down, crushing the arrancar's head and upper torso with a sickening _Sweltch._

"Reject it, Orihime." Aizen commanded, watching the killing with uninterested eyes.

Without a word, two fairies flew over and a half oval shield covered the arrancar. In what seems to be hyper speed, the pieces flew back into place and the arrancar lived once more.

With their task done, the two fairies flew back to Orihime and became hairclips oncemore.

The arrancar patted her head and chest before fainting. Being killed and revived within seconds would freak out anybody, arrancar or not. She could still remembered the hot burst of pain as her skull was caved in and her spinal cord crushed.

"Let's do that again!" Shouted Grimmjow over the silence. The insensitive bastard was being a bit more thick skulled than usual.

In anger, Orihime whirled and launched her attack. The only attack fairy at her disposal flew at Grimmjow. She intended to kill Grimmjow. If there was something she hated and despised was killing without reason. She attacked without thinking, a first for her.

Grimmjow stood still, in mockery. If she couldn't hurt Yammi, then she most certainly can't hurt him, the sixth Espada. The fairy was quick and as it grew closer, Grimmjow had the sudden desire to move out of the way. He flinched and at the moment, the fairy passed right through his hollow hole.

"Hah, you missed!" Grimmjow said, his grin on his face. "Ne-"

A sudden wind made him turn around, his grin quickly wiped off his face. Wide eyes and a raised eyebrow replaced it. Behind him was a hole. Behind that hole was a bigger hole. Behind that hole was an even bigger hole. Grimmjow realized he could see Hueco Mundo through the holes in the walls.

The tiny fairy had blown past all the walls separating Los Noches from Hueco Mundo. Grimmjow could even see the quivering arrancar who were narrowly spared from the attack.

"Oh, shit." Grimmjow realized that if that attack hit him, he would've lost more than an arm, even his life.

The woman was trembling, the hairpins all in one piece. She was nervous, scared and Grimmjow hated that. This human had phenomenal abilities and here she was, unable to use them to their fullest extent. He never really understood why she loved all creatures great and small. Her pacifism made his brain hurt. To him, all his life is to Kill or Die. He did not want to die, so he'd kill all those who appose him or threaten his life expectancy.

"Che." Grimmjow went up to Orihime, towering over her. "Next time you do shit like that, tell me first okay? I'll make a target for you and everything." With orange hair and with the stupidly big zanpakuto.

Orihime nodded. She was relieved Grimmjow was okay and that he wasn't made at her.

"Hey, Ulquiorra, you pale faced emotard," shouted Grimmjow, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Looks like you suck at teaching!"

Ulquiorra said nothing. He did his job. Orihime could now heal a terrible injury at ten times the speed, even having her patients instantly regain conscious. It was he who suggested to Orihime that if she were to extend the aura on her fighting fairy he would be able to cut more.

His advice worked. The hole in the wall was evidence. As the fairy moved, its aura grew bigger, expanding the area that gets cut. Ulquiorra expected the last hole was at least as big as Yammi judging by the light. It was quite an improvement from a thin rejecting line. This way, even if the fairy missed, even getting grazed would be detrimental to the opponent.

A very cold and swift room flowed into the room. Along with it were pieces of paper.

"Hey look Pet-sama, confetti." Nnoitra snagged a piece. His eyebrows furrowed. "What a second…"

"It's porn!" Snapped Grimmjow, staring at what appears to be a naked woman's breast.

Nnoitra panicked. "My porn! My precious porn!" He ran around the room trying to gather as much of the paper as he could.

This broke the tension from before as the Espada watched, amused, as Nnoitra tried to salvage what he could from his collection. There was a lot of paper.

Nnoitra's fraccion was also there. Telsa walked in, with a bag full of Nnoitra's porn. He had been grabbing the pieces and stuffing them in the bag. He hoped they could glue them back together.

Halibel shook her head. While Nnoitra's perverted side was amusing at times, this one took the cake. Who knew Nnoitra had a collection of human porn? Telsa knew but as Nnoitra's fraccion he was duty bound not to say anything.

Ulquiorra had long since took Orihime and dragged her out. He did not want her seeing such garbage. Every since the Strip Poker incident, and the naked incident he had been cautious whenever he was around her.

It was traitorous thoughts that wondered what Orihime would look like naked. He did see her changing into her clothes the first time and after that, the tantalizing images taunted him often. He sometimes hated his overly analytic brain and photographic memory.

KKKKK

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?

Okay, this is a bit sad and yet happy…..also,


	11. Someone gets laid

It was Tuesday.

Oh crap.

Many of the lower ranked arrancar took this moment and time to hide in their rooms or be away on any mission. In fact, they took on all the missions that the Espada had nothing to do.

So now, the Espada, were stuck in Hueco Mundo, and they were dead bored. They were Espada; it wasn't as if anything could hurt them. Clearly, they ignored the food poisoning incident and the wall destruction incident. Power has it's downsides as does arrogance.

Nnoitra had to bunk with Grimmjow since Grimmjow had the most room seeing how Grimmjow didn't have any fraccion. Stark only had one but no one would freaking room with Stark unless they want their balls busted in by his fraccion as a wake up call. Halibel's realm was all women and Nnoitra was an infamous pervert so they don't mix. If Nnoitra was gay, then maybe. Barragan had fraccion so that was a no. Ulquiorra didn't have faccion but well it was Ulquiorra, Nnoitra didn't want to spend more time with Ulquiorra than he had to.

Fish boy was too creepy for Nnoitra. Yammi's room was too freaking small for Nnoitra bony frame. Being ranked the lowest Espada gave him fewer privileges than other Espada. Zommari's room smell like the inside of a colon and no one wanted to spend time with Szayel. You never know, one moment you fall asleep the next you are strapped to an operating table.

So Grimmjow it was. His room was moderately clean, big and he didn't have fraccion. Nnoitra would've wanted to bunk with pet-sama but Ulquiorra deterred him by threatening to beat him within an inch of his life and then dump him into Halibel's bath while Halibeil's still in it.

Grimmjow didn't really get a say in the matter. He was a six, Nnoitra was five that meant Nnoitra was his superior. Therefore, he sucked it up, sulked and swore to himself when he got stronger he was going to kick Nnoitra ass.

Orihime attempted to make Grimmjow happier by offering him chocolate. He just stared at it before babbling something about Aizen and orders before running for his life. She offered the chocolate squares to everyone else. They all did the same variation of the running technique that Grimmjow did.

That left poor Orihime depressed. She did all this work of finding the right kind of chocolate and asking an arrancar to get it for her from the human world. All this hard work and nothing came out of it. Sometimes the arrancar don't make sense to her.

Ulquiorra, feeling slightly guilty, went to Stark. Stark, on the rare moments he wasn't sleeping, offered to get her 'special' brownies. Stark reasoned since Orihime was trying so hard to cook for them it would be a graceful gesture to get her something to eat. Ulquiorra asked him what made them special. Stark, lazy bastard that he was, just shrugged. It was a human thing he offered. Ulquiorra accepted that. Now that Orihime was in there midst, they have been learning more about humans than they wanted. They knew some things but she offered a more personal insight. Ulquiorra went to get some brownies from the human world only to find a plate full shoved in his hands. Stark merely shrugged at Ulquiorra's questioning eyebrow.

With an elegant bow, Ulquiorra left Stark's domain and went to Orihime's room.

"It's me." Ulquiorra said before entering. He didn't want to scare her. He walked in.

Orihime was staring at the moon again. She turned when he entered. "Ulquiorra."

Ulquiorra set down the plate. "I have some brownies for you."

She smiled at him but her smile wasn't as bright or as fake as the ones he noticed she had. "Thank you Ulquiorra."

"You're not eating." Ulquiorra pointed out. Depending on the food, Orihime would rarely pass it down. It's a wonder she is so thin and shapely as she was.

Again the smile.

"What is bothering you?" He wasn't one to dance around the subject matter.

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

She made a sound. "I…" She repeated herself several times before continuing. "I miss them."

Ulquiorra paused mid frown.

"I just miss them so much. Ichigo…Rukia…Chad…." She trailed off. "I miss them all."

She looked so sad and pathetic at that moment that Ulquiorra wanted to do anything to make her not sad. He stuffed a brownie in her mouth. She almost choked. Thankfully, she managed to chew and swallow.

Ulquiorra was pleased to see she wasn't sad anymore. She was swaying and giggling. That meant she was perfectly okay. Well, she was still swaying like a stick in the breeze, and giggling like a lunatic but she wasn't sad. He grew quite concerned that she might fall and hit something breakable.

With an irritable sigh, he picked up her and deposited her on the bed. He would've left her to her giggling had she not grabbed him by the front jacket and dragged him down onto the bed.

She was all over him, kissing and touching. Ulquiorra was not adverse to touching and usually can control himself but when she touched him all logical thought fled the mind.

The rest was history.

KKKKK

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?

Whee…he got laid. And uh…now UlquixHime is a pairing in this ficy!


	12. A bit about love

The Espada do not love.

They hate. They despise and destroy. Love was such a foreign subject to them.

They could understand lust. After all they all lusted after something. Grimmjow lusted after the next great battle. Szayel lusted to become the perfect being. Nnoitra lusted to dominate and fight to his content, to drive away the hollowness that chased all arrancar.

They did not understand love. Ulquiora gently patted Orihime's hair, his clothes placed back on his body. He sat there, trying to process what he had just done. With a silent movement, he plucked his eye out and crushed it. This would be his little secret. Aizen-sama would not need to see or hear of this occurring.

There was no shame but this was also to protect her. After it was all over, after the uephora of feelings had fled his body he inspected the brownies. There was a suspicious substance in it, no doubt making Orihime act the way she did.

He enjoyed it, a new feeling creped into his chest, bringing a throbbing sensation in every part of his body. Ulquiorra gazed down on Orihime before continuing to pat her.

Love was foreign to the Espada. The closest they could ever get to love was lust. They were certainly capable of it. It was just they didn't do it. The closest example one could get was that of a man eating his food, enjoying himself and not knowing there are other plates he could sample from.

They knew hate, so most certainly they could love. Hate and love were two sides of the same coin. One had to love in order to hate, know hate in order to know what love was. With love came affection, came concern and possessiveness. To love, was to fear and to be wary. To love is to obsess.

Ulquiorra originally hated his charge. He hated how he, cuatra Espada, was being relegated as a nursemaid or babysitter for a human. No matter how useful her powers were, her endless prattling almost made him want to die again.

From this love came gradual admiration, curiosity and possessiveness. He took care of her, made sure she stayed healthy and taught her to stand up for herself. He saw no merit in having her lean on others for support.

Orihime babbled on so much, he had to get a translator to understand what she was saying. From there research so the next day, if she were to repeat the same thing he could effectively shut her up. But alas, every single day she said something new. But he didn't mind. It kept the monotony away.

In the beginning, Nnoitra had leered at Orihime in a very lecherous way. In the beginning Ulquiorra had to shut Nnoitra up many times whenever Nnoitra tried to delve into the topic about Orihime's breasts. Even now, he was still this way but his piercing eyes now cast over any being who said anything impolite about Orihime.

He was in love. He didn't know it but he was.

There were other examples of love, of caring. Stark for example. His fraccion squeezes his balls to wake him up. Most Espada would've killed the fraccion in question. But Stark let her stay on. He protected her and kept her out of fights she could not win.

Nnoitra loved as well. He loved fighting, loved killing. It was that simple.

Halibel was Halibel. Her motives were only clear to herself. One would assume she would desire to kill whoever designed her uniform. She was a very quiet person.

Barrigan was Barrigan. He acted like an old man around children.

Grimmjow had his love. He had a disturbing love for Ichigo that was homicidal. He doesn't like being in another person's debt. He does however try to get a rise out of Ulquiorra any chance he got.

Even Gin could be lumped with the Espada. He acted like they did, smiling his fake smile, pushing ahead and trying to forget the past. But unlike the Espada, Gin was more human then they could be and he suffered more. At times, he would stare out into the empty landscape of Hueco Mundo and wonder what would've happened if she did hold on.

And Aizen?

The mysterious shinigami could not be pinpointed or analyzed correctly. All that can be safely summed up is that he has a goal and he has no qualms killing those who stood in his way.

KKKKK

Yea a bit short. I'm using most of my brain for my new Aizen fic called O Brother Where Art Thou. Look it up if you're interested.

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?

So hot...so hot...my brain is melting...must eat ice...must eat ICE!


	13. DDR and singing

Karaoke night with Dance Dance Revolution.

A glorious time to be oneself and to drink so much booze that they would have no idea what they did before. It was also a time to bond. Not that they knew that of course. Orihime suggested it to Ulquiorra who didn't want to do it until she challenged him to a DDR game.

From there, it warped into madness.

One night, Aizen and Tousen had to go on a mission leaving only Gin with them. Aizen, smart man that he was, left Ulquiorra in charge assuming that his most loyal servant would keep the peace in Hueco Mundo. It wasn't that he didn't trust Gin but Gin now developed this odd habit at staring at Halibel's chest and suddenly bursting out in tears.

It was creepy.

Once Aizen and Tousen left, Ulquiorra immediately drew out a DDR mat and hooked it up to a holographic machine. He was apparently addicted to the game. He didn't look like it, but he was.

With great hubbub and dragging, Ulquiorra got the Espada together. They were a bit surprised.

"What is this Ulquiorra?" Asked Barrigan, staring at the flashing lights.

"It's a game." Chirped Orihime, dragging in another device that looked suspiciously like a mike.

"We're having a Dance Dance Revolution tournament." Ulquiorra deadpanned. "Whoever losses gets to answer to Aizen-sama whenever something goes wrong."

"Hey, don't you mean win?"

"No. I mean lose."

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow. "What a prick."

"I heard that."

The game was set up and the instructions were said. "Push the corresponding shape to the one on the screen. If you hit it too soon, you missed. Hit it too late you missed. The object of the game is to hit as many of the images as you can without missing." Ulquiorra looked down on everyone. "This is a simple game of hand-eye coordination."

The remaining Espada shrugged. They never seen Ulquiorra so animated on anything before ignoring the time he was hyped up on sugar that didn't really count.

So the DDR tournament commenced.

Stark lost easily, he was too tired to do anything at all. The Kain-look alike couldn't decide which foot to move. Barrigan excluded himself from what he deemed child's play while Halibel had to punch Nnoitra unconscious for starring at her jiggling boobs every time she moved.

Zommari, in a zen-like state, moved too slowly. Yammi was too big, touching more than one pad at a time. Szayel tried to analyze the game for best time reaction, only to lose because no one told him that the game started already.

Only Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were duking it out. Grimmjow had his rabid sense of wanting to be King while Ulquiorra was just really addicted to the game.

Orihime didn't participate due to a widening chasm of opposite of magnetism between herself and Ulquiorra. After that one hazy night, Ulquiorra started almost avoiding her. One of these days she'll have to corner him, tie him up and force him to talk to her.

She sneaked out and found something really interesting.

After the game was over and Ulquiorra was crowned champion with a sobbing Grimmjow at his feat, it was time for the strange contraption Orihime set up.

It was at this time, Gin waltz in. Someone had sent him a note saying his presence was needed. Without warning, he was dragged up to a stage and a microphone was pressed into his hands.

With a whoosh, the currents fell and a light was focused on him. Gin felt his eyes crack open slightly at the sight of the Espada staring at him before shutting them firmly. What was going on?

Then the most beautiful and slightly drunk voice reached his ears. Gin turned around to see his Ran-chan, singing a verse off a screen. He scurried over to her and started singing along. They sang a beautiful duet called Fyuu No Hanabi ( it's a real song, and it's really pretty, sang by the voice actors.)

At the end of the song, he grabbed her and shunpo'd away.

Orihime stood at the top, taking the microphone. "Okay, let's start Karaoke night!"

The Espada stared at her, hollow crickets chirping in the background.

"Come on! It'll be fun! Didn't you like Ichimaru and Matsumoto singing?" She pleaded with the Espada.

Ulquiorra kicked Grimmjow up on stage. "Sing fool."

Grimmjow growled before opening his mouth, reading off the lines. Soon, he relaxed and actually got into full swing ignoring the crowd and actually having fun. The microphone had to be wrestled out of his hands for the other person to sing.

Stark couldn't be bothered due to have fallen fast asleep. Neither could the other two top Espada sing, deciding on to forgo for now. In fact, the only other person who sang was Ulquiorra. Nnoitra's was still knocked out and the others were still a bit wary about the microphone.

He sang two songs, neither of the songs happy, perfectly emo and somewhat alluring to Orihime. Ulquiorra also was the first to get heckled. Grimmjow first and then the newly awakened Nnoitra.

It took all of Halibel's power to keep Ulquiorra from punching in the two moron's skulls. She didn't hurt Ulquiorra too badly but made sure he didn't hurt anyone else do badly.

Meanwhile with Gin and Rangiku, he gave her a kiss before opening up a Gargunta for her to go home. Seeing her again, made his heart ache and his nonexistent conscious attack him. He never knew she had a beautiful singing voice or the fact that their voices melted together into one.

He resolved to find that song, and sing with her again.

KKKKK

Whee…it's long again. I'm using most of my brain for my new Aizen fic called O Brother Where Art Thou. Look it up if you're interested.

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?


	14. happy time

Nnoitra came to a realization. One, his fraccion was devoted to him beyond meaning, so yeah for him and two, Ulquiorra was being very sneaky while Pet-sama was being depressed.

Something happened.

So, being the kind of Espada who sticks his nose into everything, he asked Ulquiorra.

"..."

That was all the emo-spada would say.

Hmm, that means works was required.

So with great wisdom he went to Halibel, got her advice, and collaborated with her. Seeing how she was a woman, she might know more than he, a man. After a smack on the face for that comment she agreed to help him.

With one of the top Espada and the fifth, they stalked Ulquiorra, tackled him down and tied him up like a turkey. His muffled mutters of death threats were indeed muffled.

"Sorry Cuatra." Not really sorry at all. "But your negativity is effecting my zen." Dear god, what was he saying? Dammit, he really shouldn't hang around Zommari anymore.

With an easy pull, he grabbed the bound Espada and hoisted it on his bony shoulders. From there he and Haliblel went to Orihime's room, dumped the protesting Espada there and left a note on the door.

It simply said there was a surprise.

And now they wait.

Minutues later, Orihime walked into the room. The two pressed their ears to the door and waited. First there was a rustling sound, the sound of breaking glass. And...low voices...then murmuring, and was that licking?

There were low moans, two different sounds. Nnoitra pulled his ear even closer to listen. His eyebrows rose up his forehead as each sound reached his ears. He was actually enjoying himself before the door opened and Ulquiorra stared at him stonily. Halibel was nowhere to be seen.

Two minutes later, Stark almost tripped over a half broken Nnoitra. With a poke of a foot, Stark came to the conclusion Nnoitra was still alive. He pondered whether or not he should drag Nnoitra to a healer. After careful thought, he sat down next to Nnoitra and took a nap.

If not for Nnoitra's worried fraccion, the fifth Espada might have died from blood loss. If one thing was learned that day, it was not to anger Ulquiorra during his 'happy time'.

Nope.

But knowing Nnoitra, he was going to do it over and over and over just because it is fun to see Ulquiorra's face twitch oddly.

KKKKK

Whee...short... I'm using most of my brain for my new Aizen fic called O Brother Where Art Thou. Look it up if you're interested.

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN...or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm...what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?


	15. Run

"Let's have a talent contest." Said Ulquiorra in the most bored, blank and utterly drab tone he could utter.

The Espada stared at him. Aizen looked Ulquiorra over the top of his tea. He placed it down.

"What?"

Ulquiorra hated repeating himself but he did. Why oh why did he lose his bet with Orihime? That was the only reason he uttering such ridiculous things. It was a simple game of deuces. He was even counting the cards to make sure he won't lose but somehow she won.

He was cheating for Aizen's sake and still he lost.

"Let's have a talent contest." Ulquiorra repeated, a bit of emotion in his voice.

"That's stupid." Nnoitra said loudly.

"Hmmm." Gin's usually creepy grin was replaced by an amused one. "I like that idea. What do you think Taicho?"

Aizen, on his ivory throne, seemed to have closed himself off the debate entirely. "Do what you will Gin."

All stared as Aizen left, leaving the Espada to Gin's tender mercies.

Gin looked at them, his smile growing wide. "Heheheheh." He rubbed his bony hands together to complete the effect of an evil overlord or a crazy maniac.

Nnoitra elbowed Ulquiorra in the side. Ulquiorra shot Nnoitra a glare before steadying himself for what would seem to be a long and embarrassing day.

Gin fairly bounced over to the seated Espada.

"A talent contest, hnnn?" Gin tapped the table with his fingers. "While that is an interesting idea clown-chan, I have a better one."

The assembled Espada looked at Gin with vacant expressions, whatever Gin could cook up surely won't be as awful as the talent contest.

"You can all be my errand boys and girls!" Gin proclaimed. "I made a list for each of you."

A series of loud sonic booms announced the disappearance of the majority of the Esapda leaving only Ulquiorra, Nnoitra, Stark and Halibel. Ulquiorra had grabbed Nnoitra by his spoony bit of his outfit to keep him in the room, while Nnoitra retaliated by stepping on Ulquiorra's coat tails. Stark was being Stark while Halibel didn't seem to care at all.

Gin wasn't disappointed. "I have mission for all of yooooou." He said in a sweet tone. He even had a stack of papers waiting. "I made them if I ever had a chance to do this." He explained at Nnoitra's quiesting look.

"Stark-kun!!" Gin danced over to the sleeping Stark. "Wakey-akey!"

Stark remained blissfully asleep.

"Halibel-chan!" Gin called over. "Can you wake Stark?"

Halibel silently stood up, walked over to Stark, picked him up by the collar and not so gently, punched him in the balls. All the males winced in unison as Stark woke up, eyeballs bulging and a choked scream coming out of his mouth.

She then unceremoniously dropped Stark onto the floor and went back to her seat. Stark struggled to get back into his seat, panting. He shot Halibel a glare before putting his head back into his arms, determined to go back to sleep.

"Stark-chan." Gin scurried over to Stark. "Wakey!!"

Stark remained steadfast asleep. Gin turned around, about to give the other Espada their orders only to find they had fled, even Halibel.

"Awww...no one wants to play with me." Gin murmured to himself. In his fist was a clenched note addressed to only one person who held his head and heart.

Now that all the Espada had escaped, Nnoitra still wanted to beat Ulquiorra up for opening such a big can of worms. Even though they had escaped Gin, it didn't mean Gin won't come find them and make them play with him.

Nnoitra's dreams of beating Ulquiorra up were short lived after said Ulquiorra calmly lit the remains of Nnoitra's porn collection on fire-right in his face- and scattered them to the wind. Nnoitra became a sobbing mass of tears as he mourned the loss of the rest of his porn. It wasn't as if he could get some more...-wait.

There was a way. But that would lead to the dar-dork side. Would he put his pride down to become an errand boy just for porn?

"..."

Yes. He would.

Anything for the glorious porn.

KKKKKK

Whee...short... I'm using most of my brain for my new Aizen fic called O Brother Where Art Thou. Look it up if you're interested.

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN...or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm...what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?


	16. Omake Unohana

"Ahhh.."

Aizen opened his mouth, bared his throat and wondered when the humiliation was going to end.

The wooden stick in his mouth pressed down on his tongue as Unohana peered in his mouth like a person would down a microscope.

How did it come to this?

It all started due to one tiny miscalculation on devotion and duty.

Unohana was a true doctor and she was resolute in treating her patients. According to her, the three shinigami were due for a checkup and seeing how they didn't officially check themselves out of the medical program all shinigami are insured under, she had a duty to go to wherever they sneaked off to and give them a medical exam.

It was her duty.

That was why, when Aizen went to his throne room, in order to lord over his minions he found the female captain and her vice captain chatting amicable with the Espada. Rather, Unohana was chatting while her vice captain tried not to faint in terror. Being surrounded by very powerful and bloodthirsty arrancar has that effect on people.

Of all the Espada only Szayel was excited. Truth be told, Szayel was growing bored of the lack of intelligence surrounding him and he was too smart to engage verbal rounds with Aizen or Gin. While it might be enjoyable, his self-preservation instincts told him not to do so.

So when this captain appeared, with medical instruments he brightened up. The two engaged in conversation as one doctor would another. Their short, while enlightening conversation ended when Aizen walked in with the other two captains.

"Unohana Taicho." Aizen intoned, not yet realizing the dire straights he was in. "What are you doing here? Have you come on a suicide mission?"

Unohana was not one to be intimated. She looked at him pleasantly. "Do you know what day it was last week?"

A pause as the three shinigami thought. "Check up day?" Gin was quickest to reach it.

"Captain's check up last week." Muttered Tousen. "Squad three, five and nine."

The three shinigami started to simultaneously back up. Unohana was a stickler for check up times. Also Unohana happened to be one of the oldest captains, oldest continuing captain from the old guard. Even though she was of the fourth squad, she was captain. She had power and experience.

Even Aizen didn't dare go against her without a fool proof backup plan.

"Please sit down and wait for your turn." She said in a very pleasant voice. "Orihime is also getting her check up."

The three did as they were told.

After Orihime was done, it was their turn.

Gin was the first one.

It was all very routine and had Gin not been fidgeting so much, it would have gone by faster.

Gin was a given a clean bill of health except for a mild malnutrition concern and a suggest diet. He was also awarded his choice of lollipop after the examination. He accepted.

Tousen was next. He too was given a clean bill of health except for his blindness. He did not take a lollipop.

Then it was Aizen's turn.

It went well.

As Unohana slipped on plastic gloves, the snapping elastic sounding ominous to Aizen. He gulped, wondering why he was so scared. Wasn't the exam over?

"Prostate exam." Unohana said in a scarily cheerful voice that told Aizen he should run.

"What?" Aizen raised a delicate eyebrow. "I'm not that old."

"New studies have shown evidence of prostate cancer with younger men. It is better to be safer than sorry. As your doctor, I take your health in the greatest regard." Unohana looked diabolical with the plastic gloves. "It is relatively painless if you don't tense up."

Aizen stared at her, at the gloves and then vanished. There was no way he was going to have a prostate exam with his Espada watching. Already they have lost decorum, snickering and giggling while their superiors were getting examined. There shall be hell to pay once this is over.

Preferable when Unohana was back at her division taking care of the idiotic eleventh division. Seriously, what was wrong with them? Sure they are good for a division but should've they have learned not to piss off the fourth division captain?

He barely got a few feet away before he crashed face first on the ground. He was unconscious before he hit the ground. When he woke up, he found himself and Unohana alone with her goddamn white plastic gloves.

He was doomed.

KKKKKKK

Yes, short. Hope you like anyways. Omake. Yes and Unohana rocks.


	17. Omake GinRan

Inspired from a few AMV's about Gin and Rangiku. Okay, this has nothing to do with the Espada or Ulquiorra or Orihime.

Let's just celebrate another tragic love.

Omake: GinRan

Warning: Character death.

KKKKKKKKKK

When the light came down, she did the only thing she could.

She held on.

Too many times, he had walked away, disappeared only to come back without a word in where he went or why. She couldn't let him go, not now. She had a feeling that if she let go, she would never see him again.

She couldn't do that.

So she held on. She had dropped her zanpakuto, moved her arms around his face and buried her head in his back. She held on, even as she felt the pain as a burning sensation traveled up and down her body.

She felt shifting, felt hands around her. She looked up, saw those eyes and the apology in them. She smiled, pulling him down and gave him a kiss.

"Don't go." She whispered, her eye's light dying as she spoke.

Gin felt the kiss, felt the firmness of her body disappear and saw as she vanished in a sparkle of light. He heard her words and his reply was choked in his throat. He was too late to reply, too late to say I'm sorry.

He brought up her scarf to his face, smelling it before that too vanished.

There was no outwardly reaction. He continued smiling even as the shinigami before screamed as Matsumoto Rangiku was no more. He continued smiling as he drew his blade.

Stupid Aizen.

With Matsumoto dead, Gin had no reason to continue in this little scheme. It would've been much fun but now with Ran-chan dead, it wouldn't be that much fun anymore.

There is a reason why he finished school within a year. There is a reason why he was able to kill the third seat so easily.

And now, Aizen was going to learn up close and personal.

"Bankai."

When it was all over, Gin stood on the ground the bodies of the two traitors in pieces. He was still smiling but tears were streaked on his face. Gin found out his tear ducts were working against him, resolute in cleaning his eyes.

He stood there, hands bloodied and fox-faced without a word he walked away. He didn't exactly have permission to leave but he left anyways. Gin vanished, taking Matsumoto's soul cutter with him.

Even Yourichi, proclaimed Flash Goddess was unable to catch up with him.

He reappeared in front of the tree where they used to live together as kids. Gin stuck the blade into the tree, staring at it for a few seconds before turning to leave.

"Good bye Ran-chan." He whispered. "Sorry."

KKKKKKKKK

There. I hope that squeezed a few tears out of you people.

Also, who ever is the 100th reviewer gets his or her's choice of whatever theme for the next chapter.


	18. The task

A few hours later, Nnoitra found himself, sneaking around Soul Society. He was cursing himself under his breath as he tried to dodge shinigami attention. Oh why, oh why did he agree to such a stupid thing?

Nnoitra had to remind himself that Gin had a stack of porn just waiting for him. All he had to do was give one lousy note to one person. That was it. And not get caught of course.

He crawled under and over, around and around he went. It was kinda easy and yet hard. It was Soul Society after all. It was going to be a quick job. Just get there, drop the note and run away. Simple and easy. Every time he was about to be caught, they were distracted by a loud crash or a commotion. Nnoitra considered himself very lucky.

But this was Gin. He had other stipulations attached to the delivery.

When Nnoitra got to the tenth division head quarters, he checked to make sure no one of decent power were anywhere near him. He didn't want to kill them after all. One of the rules was to get in and get out without getting caught and without killing anyone. It made things more fun was all Gin said.

Nnoitra walked in, caught sight of a woman laying on the ground, walked by her-wait. Nnoitra swiveled about.

Orange haired woman with humongous boobs.

Check.

Nnoitra placed the note on the table before starting to move again. He was done. Yes, the glorious porn was all his. He paused in a half step, pausing to look at the still sealed sake bottles. Hmm….Gin said nothing about souvenirs.

With a wide grin on his face, Nnoitra left.

"Maa…" Gin grinned, stepping carefully around the room. "Ran-chan isn't going to be happy."

He went over to the drunk woman, sitting by next to her. Gin had followed Nnoitra, making sure he didn't cause and trouble and took the time to just look at his kitty. She wasn't sleeping on her chest or else she would suffocate.

"Ran…" Gin leaned over Matsumoto's sleeping face, his face close to her own. His silver hair brushed dangerously close to her face. He had missed her so much. With one sleeve, he wiped away the drool.

He gave her a brief chaste kiss before standing up. Gin couldn't stay here forever no matter how much he would want to. He went over to his note, scrawled an extra note on top of the one he already wrote and crumpled it up into a funnel. Then, with a mischievous smile on his face, he stuffed it between Matsumoto's breasts. It would be quite safe there.

He vanished. Matsumoto woke up five minutes later, groggy and disoriented. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve intent on cleaning her face up before he captain came and found her lying on the ground. Her sleeve found no wetness. Puzzled, she always drooled in her sleep Matsumoto touched her face with her fingers and found one spot of wetness. She smelled her fingers.

It was salty.

It was then that she realized that there were something between her breasts making a papery crunching sound. With a hand she extracted it. She read it to herself.

"Gin, you bastard." Matsumoto whispered. She smiled to herself. She sighed. She read the last line over again. "Oh shit."

Matsumoto looked around the room and screamed loudly. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

Her beloved sake bottles were gone.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Meanwhile back in Los Noches, two unlikely people were cuddling up. Orihime was in Ulquiorra's lap, eyes closed and dozing off. Ulquiorra was idly combing her hair with his fingers.

"Ulquiorra?"

"- .-"

"I'm pregnant."

"o.O!"

KKKKKK

In another place in Los Noches, Nnoitra was congradulating himself on swiping not only the sake but also he could finally read porn.

It was only after ten minutes in did he realize that he knew those boobs. He remembered them. After another five minutes of thinking, Nnoitra gasped.

These were Halibel's boobs. Nnoitra stared. What the hell? He continued staring. How in the world did Gin get Halibel to pose? In fact, how did Gin get Halibel naked?

"Nnoitra." Ooh, speak of the devil.

Nnoitra looked up, he was sitting. He saw Halibel. She was looking down on him. She could clearly see what he was looking at. Oh. Crap.

"Nnoitra." Her voice was so much colder. Very cold. Not to mention sharp.

Nnoitra gulped.

He was so doomed.

But hey, he was going to die happy. He saw Halibel's boobs.

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Whee…short…. I'm using most of my brain for my new Aizen fic called O Brother Where Art Thou. Look it up if you're interested. AND a POTC ficy!!...yes, pirates!

Ninjas! Pirates! Davy Jones!!...hmm..yep…

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?

Oh yeah, the 100th reviewer gets their own thingy for the chaptery and namey stuff. So yeah.


	19. Omake Tragic Love

In continuation from the last chapter: (in order words Squeee)

And also written in request of **disinterested**. I hope you like it. It's kinda long...o.O...so I hope you enjoy it. I had managed to section it, like a preview of the next chapter on this chapter.

But first the story. Not to be confused with the continuation of the big story.

KKKKKK

The battle raged on. In a brilliant move, Aizen had cut Soul Societies power in half. And yet, this did not stop his own forces his once vaulted Espada to be also cut nearly in half. There were a few miscalculations. He would admit that.

Aizen knew, he had seen it and had thought about it before. Aizen knew about the growing affection between the captor and the captive. Aizen always noticed minute change in his Espada. He noticed and predicted that the girl would get attached to Ulquiorra and in turn her unique cherry personality would sap into him but not change him completely into a useless tool. No, Ulquiorra was far too trained. He would never betray him.

After some time, Aizen figured it was best to accept this development. After all, imagine the children the two could have. Their children would be powerful. In his plans for Godhood, having powerful allies was necessary.

So he said nothing. He instead, waited patiently for Ulquiorra to tell him. That was the least his cuatra Espada could do. Did Ulquiorra truly think he could hide such a development from him? That was laughable. Aizen was in too good of a good mood to hurt his creation. No, he will let things develop by themselves. He loved a good soap opera and reality TV was very entertaining.

Orihime was lying on the sofa, her head in Ulquiorra's lap. She was thinking, silent for once. Ulquiorra was idly brushing her hair with his fingers. They could just sit like this for hours, not speaking to each other but enjoying each other's presence. When Ulquiorra had time, he would often come by and just sit with her. He would always come to give her the daily nutritional meals but each visit was full of joy and not pain or sadness.

Orihime was thinking. She had this feeling that all these happy days were going to go away like ice in fire. She used that analogy due to an intense knowledge that their love or affection would never be accepted and these days would disappear.

But she wanted to stay with Ulquiorra. She wanted to be by his side. He made her feel safe and even though he looks so blank and emotionless, she could feel his concern for her, his possessiveness. While she may love him, he was fascinated with her. So in his own way, that was his version of love.

Orihime sat up, disrupting Ulquiorra, she stared at him her big eyes glistening with unshed tears. Ulquiorra looked at her, in his blank wide eyed unresponsive way that Orihime found absolutely cute at times.

She shuffled closer to him, placing hands around his head and pulling him closer to her. She wanted to feel him around her, inside her. She wanted to be with him forever till the universe ends. Unlike her crush on Ichigo, her desire to be with Ulquiorra greatly over compassed any crush she ever had.

She captured his lips with her own, lightly tugging on them gently prodding them to open. Her hands started unzipping his jacket, her warm fingers touching his cold chest. His hands were tugging her clothes off, this wasn't the first time they had sex. The first time was very awkward, neither not really knowing what to do.

She was leading this time, for once taking control. Her touch was gentle like when a butterfly lands on you and her warmth trailed across his skin leaving behind goose bumps. When he led, he was rough, exploratory and he drew blood all the time. It was his way of exploring who he was with her, trying to find out what he was. Her humanity attracted him, drew him to her.

As she placed kisses on his neck and as her fingers entwined around his, Orihime was crying. She didn't want to leave Ulquiorra. Her warm wet tears rolled of her face, dripping onto Ulquiorra's chest. She continued kissing, feeling the electrifying feeling of touch as his fingers touched her. She wanted to drown out the outside world; she wanted the future to never come.

A few minutes in, Ulquiorra took over. Orihime was becoming a crying wreck. The grief was overtaking her, paralyzing her limbs. Ulquiorra kissed her tears away, licking them away. He drew her into the fantasy world of pleasure and she let herself sink in.

Hours later, she woke up. She looked at Ulquiorra, sleeping in the sofa. He had let his guard down around her; it was something to be proud of. She was the only person he relaxes around not even Aizen was trusted as much as she was. Orihime lied back down, wrapping arms around Ulquiorra. She just wanted to hold him as if her display would soften god's heart and allow them to be together.

The following day, Ichigo came. The rescue team came in, swords blazing and kidou blasting. They had managed to open portals right in Los Noches, allowing them to create havoc and a distraction so Ichigo could go rescue Orihime.

When Ichigo arrived at her room, she was waiting for him. When he took her, she didn't resist. Ichigo would forever give her the feeling of being protected, of being useless at times. She left without a looking back. She knew she would be unable to stop looking if she did. She knew if she started crying, it would show weakness. She knew strength and drew on it to keep herself from crying.

When her friends crowded around her, Orihime felt joy but the joy was empty. She loved her friends and she still crushed on Ichigo but her heart belonged to only one person. That one person who she was left on the other side.

Nine months later she gave birth to a lovely little boy with the most beautiful emerald eyes and jet black hair. He looked just like his father without the mask and tear marks. When she saw him, she started crying. Her little boy reminded her of what she had left behind. Her friends thought she was sad or happy, they had drifted apart treating Orihime as if she was fragile glass. They didn't push the subject of her kidnapping or of her treatment there. They were protecting her, or so they thought.

They saw the signs and the symptoms but misdiagnosed the disease.

The Winter War came and gone. It was a war of attrition. It wasn't really a war as it was a series of terrifying random attacks that decimated shinigami ranks. It was Aizen's way of showing Soul Society how ill-equipped and underpowered they were. Sure they had their captains but even the captains were not faring well.

If it weren't for Orihime, the losses on the shinigami side would be so much more, the list of the dead so much longer. There would be more funerals held for those lost in battle. Bodies upon bodies piled up in the battlefield. More black than white, the color red was most present more so than any other color. It was a strain to do their duties and fight this war.

The battlefield were always littered with limbs, guts and just corpses. When the battle was over, those who were injured and those who could be saved were sent to Orihime. She now worked with the Fourth Division, healing and keeping spirits up. She rejected injuries, brought back the dead. It exhausted her but she was pleased because it kept her mind off Ulquiorra and made her useful.

Her son had grown, developing rapidly and was always underfoot. He did help his mother anyway he could, carrying gauze and important things that were needed. He had grown fast in height and he was growing into his power. At first, Orihime was worried that he would be like Ulquiorra and couldn't emote but as it turns out her son inherited his mother's imagination, a twisted morbid imagination but an imagination albeit dark. He had a good head start on emo-hood.

On one of these days, in which Orihime was actually going into the field to heal combatants, her son went with her. Not with permission but he wanted to be with her and not be babysat by Ukitake's weird two third seats. They were annoying in his opinion.

He sneaked out, shadowing the group. He had easily ditched his guards, and melted into the darkness using all the skill he could must. He had many uncles and aunts who taught him many wondrous things, things that got him into trouble. But these things allowed him to run fast, jump far and hit Kenpachi with a stick in attempts to ambush him.

He also went to fulfill his curiosity. His mother never really told him much about his dad. Or why at times he just stares at the people in the villages and drool. At times he would stare at academy students. To him they smelled tasty which was strange. He stared at girls and guys, but mostly the girls. He assumed it had to be something about puberty even though he was years off. Maybe he was an early bloomer.

Girls were curious beings in which he would devote some time to stalking.

As he was watching the group from afar, he didn't notice one of the hollows sneaking up from behind him. He was used to blood and seeing injured people. His mom did help them reject their injuries so he wasn't shocked or scared. He even helped bandage a few people while they waited for his mom. He knew his mother was doing a good thing and it made her happy.

The smell of blood filled his nostrils. After taking a few steadying breaths, he continued sneaking. It was the sharp, painful burning sensation leading to darkness that told the curious boy he had erred. He was dead before he hit the ground.

"TREA!!" Orihime shouted in alarm. She was helping carry people when she felt her 'motherly senses' tingle. She whirled around to see Trea fall into a bloody pool on the ground.

She screamed in pain, horror and anger. All she felt and all she saw was her son was dead. Her son in the middle of a battlefield in which he shouldn't be in. Aizen had already taken so much from her and her friends. Her son will not be taken from her not if she had anything to say about it. She felt a rise of heat from her heart to her head and a bright flash. When it was over, all the attacking hollows were gone, just rejected out of existence. The attacking force was annihilated.

Orihime was hyperventilating as she rushed over to her son. His eyes were open, and empty. Blood dripped from his fingertips, his flesh ripped and torn. He looked so tiny, so doll like just lying there in the pool of blood. Orihime could see her son there but she could also see Ulquiorra there as well. Her son looked so similar at times; it was hard to tell the difference if it weren't for the lack of height. His spirit was standing next to his body. The soul chain that came out of his body was disappearing quickly, far too quickly. All the energies of the battlefield agitated the balance in his soul, changing him swiftly.

"Mom?" Trea asked confused, as he started changing. _"It hurts"_

Orihime could only watch in horror as her son's soul morphed. No, she can't let this happen. She formed an orange shield around Trea, forcing her will. She wanted Trea to be safe. She wanted him not to be a mindless hollow. She wanted him to meet his father.

When she was done, her son slept in her arms. He wasn't going to be a hollow. She had changed that. She had changed him fundamentally, fusing energies together. It was never going to be the same.

She sobbed on him, she thought she had lost her only son. She loved her son so much, her baby. Orihime had a bad childhood, her parents weren't there for her and only her older brother cared. And when her brother died, things weren't exactly shiny. She didn't want her little boy to not have his mother.

Later that night, Orihime was staring up at the moon again. She had found herself doing this often but she couldn't stop. It was what last visages she had of Ulquiorra. It was war and she almost got tried for treason after Trea was born. After all what kind of person would have consensual sex with their captor?

It was only with the backing of her friends and several captains that she and her son weren't tossed into jail. No doubt Mayuri would love to get his hands on Trea and just dissect him. She couldn't let that happen. In the end, she and Trea were put under surveillance. Trea wasn't taken from her and was allowed to live with his mother.

She was restricted to healing duties. She was not allowed on the battlefield. Orihime didn't want to be on the battlefield. For one, she didn't want to hurt people and two she didn't want to hurt Ulquiorra if he were ever to be on that particular battlefield that she was on.

And now after Trea died and she changed him, everything was changing as well. Mayuri wanted to experiment on her baby, but he was quickly rebuffed. During times of war, the rules changed and orders were carried out swiftly. They needed Trea's power. Now that he was a soul just like them, they could use him. Thankfully Orihime wasn't in the room when the decision was made. Trea's existence was now an anomaly. His mother's powers were so ranged and strange, even more strange than the former Kido vice captain/vizard that it was unknown what would happen.

They balked at putting an explosive device in him. Mayuri had some already but it was decided that threatening the child with death was not what the Gotei 13 do. Instead his life would be greatly monitored, more guards would be put on him and he will be indoctrinated with the principles of the Gotei 13. No doubt Aizen would have heard by now, the traitor had eyes and ears everywhere. Officially they told Orihime to go home, to rest and that everything will be fine. Ukitake hated lying to Orihime. She had already been through enough.

That was why Orihime, was pondering in the kitchen of her future life and of her past. Of Ulquiorra and their son. Her thoughts drew back to Ulquiorra. She wanted him to come, to speak to her. She yearned for him. After everything that had happened, after all the pain, suffering, and misery he had caused she loved him. She grew to love him and in the end forgiven him. He might not thought his actions were wrong but she forgave him anyways. He had protected her even when he didn't have to and even took her out on walks. Inexplicably she fell in love with the man-no the monster who took her away from her home. He had seemingly taunted her, pushing her beliefs away and for once making her doubt her friends.

In spite of all that, she fell in love with him. And he, became more protective of her and much more possessive. He didn't understand the concept of love or of the heart but he knew that she was his. She was his to do as he pleased. It was like having a fraccion but not. Regardless, while she may serve Aizen, she was his.

"Woman." A voice dragged Orihime abruptly out of her thoughts. She looked around, frightened.

There stood Ulquiorra, shadowed by the darkness. He hasn't changed at all.

She stared at him, wondering if he was real. Orihime walked towards him, placing a hand on his cheek. He was real. The coldness under her fingers confirmed that. She shuddered, her hand slipping to rest on his shoulder. It has been months and she hadn't seen him or felt him for such a long time. Orihime then collapsed into his arms, head on his chest.

They just stood there, silently. After Orihime regained her composure, she backed away worried. "You should leave before they find you."

"They will not find me."

"Yes they will. They have this house under surveillance."

"They will not find me." His assurances were strong. He would not lie to her. There was no use to lying to her. The truth cuts deeper than any lie.

When she looked back, he was gone. She crumpled to the floor, tears growing in her eyes. Just when she thought she got over him, he came back and shattered her world once more.

This happened several times, in which he would come and they would just sit together. He was never caught and no one found out. Not even Trea knew of Orihime's night time rendezvous with Ulquiorra, his father.

He would come; twice a week in the night undetected and would stay for an hour or so. She didn't ask questions, and he didn't give any. During their time together, Orihime would wonder if Ulquiorra knew of Trea. Wouldn't Aizen tell him?

One night, Orihime was waiting for Ulquiorra ready to tell him that they should stop this before he is caught. She waited in the kitchen, half daydreaming the lights half off. A loud rattle made her turn around. She saw bright green eyes. "Ul-" She stopped. The height difference was wrong.

She turned the lights on. "Trea?" Trea looked at his mom guilty, half a cookie in his mouth.

"You shouldn't eat past your bedtime." She said in a scolding tone. The cookie crumbles fell onto the countertop where he was perched. "Finish that up and go back to bed."

Trea hopped off the table, landing on his feet. After his strange experience out in the battlefield, he felt stronger and faster. He knew he died, he wasn't stupid and his mother told him everything. So what if he was a different kind of being, it didn't matter. At least this time he can become a shinigami and have a cool sword and finally fight Kenpachi.

He slipped off to the corridor to go to his room, when he heard something. Trea turned around and sneaked back to the kitchen. It was then, peeking around the corner of the door did he see a bigger version of himself. That Guy, as labeled, was holding Mom. He crept closer, quite ready to burst out and demand what is going on when shinigami appeared.

All Trea could do was stare as his Mom and the Guy were surrounded. For a brief second nothing happened, then all hell broke loose. There was loud screaming, clanging and blood. There was so much blood. He could smell it in the air, and see it glistening on the floor.

Then darkness.

After the incident, Orihime was imprisoned and to await a court trial. She was seen and caught talking to the enemy. Her past history was damming in the eyes of the law. The worst would be death, the least was having all her memoires erased and sent back to the Living Realm with her power bound. It would be a shame to lose her in anyway but the law must be upheld.

The trial came and passed. The verdict was read. She was to be sent back to the Living World, with no memoires and powerless. Her friends were not allowed to associate with her. To 'protect' her, they will relocate her to another town, another country if need be. Her power could not fall under enemy hands. There will be regular check ups.

Her friends protested. They protested loudly. But it was all in vain. As they started the kidou spells, Orihime spoke. "Where is Trea? Where is my son?" She was numb inside. The prospect of never seeing her friends again hurt. She would never find love like the one she found when she was with Ulquiorra. She felt it in her heart and soul. To never remember all the great things that have occurred. Would she revert back to her empty headed self? What of her son?

Ukitake looked at her sadly. "We could not find him. It seems the arrancar took him away."

Tears streaked down her cheeks. She was too frozen to cry out but her eyes spoke volumes. She would never see her son again. Her son might never remember her. Who knows what Aizen might to do him? He was only a boy.

As the kidou spell was started, Orihime prayed fervently to God to anyone that they look out for her son, for Ulquiorra and for her friends.

In a world away, one desolate little boy cried into his pillow. He wanted his mother. He didn't want to be with this cold man. The man had a name but Trea didn't want to use it. He would rather use **monster**. How could his mom fall in love with that **Monster**? That ruthless cold killer? He hated that **Evil Clown**. Trea wanted to go home. He wanted his Mom. He wanted the **Monster** to go away.

In the doorway, Ulquiorra watched his 'son'. It was odd seeing that miniature version of himself. The boy had not inherited any of Orihime's looks but certainly a few of her traits. Aizen had already told Ulquiorra that Orihime was being sent back into the Living World without memory and without power. If he were to look for her, as suggested slyly by Ichimaru, it would take a very long time. There are a lot of humans in the world.

Ulquiorra closed his eyes; he imagined for once a string from his finger going out into the darkness. He imagined Orihime on the other end, holding the string. Along with that mental string, he added another one. While his son might not acknowledge that he was his father, it doesn't mean they were not bonded. So he added another string from him, to her. It was a tale she told him, about lovers and love. It had something silly about it with string but now it doesn't seem so silly anymore.

As Aizen dictates it, he will stay in Los Noches and do his orders. But, he had noticed the slight ambiguity of his leader's last statement. If he could find her, there would be no objections. But for now, his duty was to train his son. Aizen expects the boy to be able to fight soon. Ulquiorra was not one to disappoint his master.

Even Orihime falling in love with him, was calculated into Aizen's master plan. The child was a bonus. In his room, Aizen laughed to himself. Like puppets on a string, they danced to a tune. He favored tragic love. The sappy kind always made him want to hurl.

KKKKKK

Preview:

_After a full minute, Orihime laughed inwardly. Her laughter spilled out and she just giggled hysterically at Ulquiorra's facial expression. She was joking. _

_The morning after, she stopped laughing. She had morning sickness. _

KKKKKK

Whee…short…. I'm using most of my brain for my new Aizen fic called O Brother Where Art Thou. Look it up if you're interested. AND a POTC ficy!!...yes, pirates!

Ninjas! Pirates! Davy Jones!!...hmm..yep…

Also….duh duh! A Stargate/DLM crossover!!...I'm a sucker for DLM.

Again, cause it's fun and people like it. Give a shout if you want more. A REALLY BIG SHOUT!

Do you want more PAIN…or LAUGHTER! So review, make your voices heard. Hmm…what's next?...What next? Any suggestions? Do you want anything written? Or do you rather I spit out bunnies?

Next chapter shall be the continuing strange hate/love of the Espada and Ulquiorra's pet.


	20. Intermission Kiss

Like feathers, barely brushing on the skin and dry. His kiss felt like wind brushing on her nervous skin, wet from sweat and sometimes tears. Each kiss was done in the same way he held himself, elegant and methodical. Nothing was wasted or overdone.

His lips felt so smooth against her skin, she swore she felt a bit of tongue once.

When he kisses her, he doesn't kiss her the way men kiss women in the books. He kisses her neck, her throat never her mouth. His kisses always made her blush madly, and at times shudder at each touch. When he goes down on her, it makes her gasp. He always knew how to make her gasp, kissing is just one way he controls her.

Light, moist and breathy. Her kiss felt incomparable to anything he had ever experienced. Each kiss was sporadic, at times strong and at times very weak. There are pauses and a mix of sucking with each kiss.

Her lips were warm, burning his skin upon touch.

Her kisses are needy; they inch up to his face trying to reach his lips for some odd reason. They inch up from his lower body, up to his throat and trail over his outer ear. She makes him gasp, as she sets down kisses on his throat. They made his body shake with tremors when she goes down on him. The first time, she guided him and for every time afterword, he led the train of kisses.

KKKKKKK

This is for, a drabble and a lack of smooches in the story which had no detail. So here are your smooches.

Prompt # 1 of contest: Kisses

Your next chapter will be part of the time line continuum thingy. I promise. And it will be Long. LONG I promise you!!


	21. What comes around goes around

A long lasting term for a relationship requires trust both ways, and loyalty both ways.

Loyalty.

What an odd word. Loyalty is faithfulness to a cause or a person. It is also devotion. Shinigami have loyalty, sometime too much and sometimes too little. Undermine the loyalty of the shinigami to each other and they will be easier to defeat. Heck, any country where you can make the people disloyal is a country you can defeat much easier than a unified front.

Undermine the loyalty of the arrancar to Aizen and you'll have to contend to tyranny. Fear of dying is a very good motivator. Besides the arrancar's ranks and the arrancar's power base is not built upon loyalty or trust. It is power. The top caste rules while the lower caste obeys. Within that top caste, there are those who are of lower top caste. There is always someone on the bottom.

The King on top rules all. Newsflash: this king is not a nice one.

For what reason should the Espada be loyal to Aizen? Nothing really. It wasn't as if Aizen treated them as equals. Nor did he appreciated them or treated them in any way that would spur loyalty. Aizen treated them as one would servants. They were his army, his homemakers and his janitors too. When was the last time he would give them a gold star for good behavior? He was above them all.

And he was a shinigami to boot.

Hollow and shinigami do not mix, not on such a level in which there is no trust either way. He basically went into their backyard, stole their house and dominated them. This is a whole new meaning to getting into someone's house and eating their mom's cookies, tracking in mud to boot.

Basically it was this: "Up against the wall you motherfucker, this is a stick up!"

There is an inherit distrust between shinigami and arrancar. The shinigami kill hollows in order to keep the balance. The hollows kill and eat shinigami because they're hungry and they want to fill the gap that aches in their soul. One cannot expect natural enemies to sit together and break bread.

This distrust isn't hidden or secret because both sides are only together for one reason.

Aizen-the guy who wants to be god and will piss in your grave to do it-Sosuke

Aizen held the strings of their fate in an iron fisted hand. In his other is his sword in which he cuts their string, ending their existence. He had his two heralds, one who is no help at all and the other who is loyal beyond a fault.

Dominance is one of the main things driving hollows and the other is fear of losing self-awareness. Aizen gave them one, and continually fought in the other. By simply distracting the hollows with their own internal battles of dominance, it kept him in the clear. Tousen was too loyal to betray him and Gin; well he had a back up plan in case Gin betrayed him. Not like that will happen. Gin was a bastard to the core. Gin was like Aizen just not as deliciously handsome.

Aizen was lord and master of Los Noches. Nothing occurs without his knowing. Before going to Hueco Mundo he researched hollows and learned all he could know. There was only so much on hollows. Once you know your enemy, you can manipulate them just as easily you do your friends.

He let them have their little meetings for nothing escapes his eyes or ears. Hollows never change their behavior, not even as arrancars. He had nothing to worry about. Poor Aizen never learned that if anything, hollows evolve at an accelerated rate during times of strife and danger.

"Ulquiorra hurry the fuck up and speak dammit." Grimmjow was dead bored and he didn't want to spend his time here. The week had lapsed into quiet air, with nothing in the war needing their expertise. So far, it hadn't drawn up to a full fledge brawl which he liked. It was a bunch of traps and ambushes. A war of attrition. Grimmjow wanted a huge fledge battle. He was also not allowed to fight Ichigo either.

Ulquiorra was the reason they were all meeting. Hollows were not mindless beasts; they actually had a culture if you could call it that. They had their cities and the stronger of the hollows had meetings. These meetings were to resolve territory issues and prey. Most of these meetings end up in fights where the winner dictated the rules. There was order in Hueco Mundo, a skewed chaotic order but there was order.

Mostly the Voste Lorde conducted these meetings, because they were the only intelligent ones and the most powerful. Of the Espada only four were Voste Lorde, the rest were adjuchas and one was a gillian. Just being a Voste Lorde doesn't mean they are the most intelligent. Szayel was rather smart, a genius in other words.

The adjuchas hunger for power, their holes located in their lower bodies. The Voste Lorde do not hunger substantial items and their holes in their upper chest. They have power and they have self-identity. They are the closest to humanity.

It has been a long time since a meeting had been called among powerful hollows. They were all there, either standing or sitting. This tradition was so ingrained in them, that when Stark requested it they came. It was a calling. Besides, Stark could beat the bloody shit out of all of them except for Halibel maybe so they went because of that too.

As it turns out, Stark requested a meeting to talk about the 'plan'. It wasn't exactly a secret but it was a concerted effort. Not one mind thought of this, but others too. Ulquiorra took this moment to speak, figuring that his news would affect the 'plan'.

"Szayel, I am worried." Ulquiorra began. Szayel noted that although Ulquiorra didn't look like it, he was wringing his hands in desperation.

"_You_ are worried?" Szayel had abstained from lying on the sand, deciding instead to just stand there and examine his pristine white gloves. "Do tell me why."

Ulquiorra spoke, his voice without inflections. "The woman had been throwing up several times in the morning."

There was a pause, as if Ulquiorra thought Szayel could already diagnose what was occurring from just that Hah, as if there were too many diseases that had puking as a symptom. "And?"

"Aw, screw this shit." Grimmjow ever impatient went over to Ulquiorra, grabbed him and went to pull his eye out so they could see his memoires.

Grimmjow's fingers came up empty as Ulquiorra snagged him by the wrist, pulling him away. "You were aiming at the wrong eye." His voice had a bit of sting it. One, Grimmjow tried to rip his eye out and two it was the wrong fucking eye.

Grimmjow jerked away. "It was the right one. I'm not stupid."

"It seems you are." Nnoitra cackled. Ever since the confetti incident, he brought his porn with him all the time in a burlap sack. "Even I know it's the left one."

"No it's the right one." Grimmjow hissed, not wanting to be wrong. He figured that if he was stubborn about it, it will be right.

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Right."

"Left."

"Shut up you brats." Snarled Barrigan, sitting on his throne that he had his fraccion carry around. "You're annoying. Both of you. So shut your traps or I will shut them for you."

Grimmjow and Nnoitra closed their mouths and resorted to cursing the other in their minds. Barrigan was arrogant but he was powerful. He also had four fraccion and one very butt ugly one that they didn't want to fight. They might die of laughing or poke their own eyes out just to escape the horrific sight.

Ulquiorra spoke again, only those who were observant could tell he was even more composed. "She was sick several times."

"When?"

"It started last week."

"Anything unusual happen?"

"No."

"Anything else?"

Ulquiorra tilted his head. "Yes. She spoke to me the night before she was sick." He brought a hand to his eye. He plucked out his right eye and crushed it.

The ability to record everything he saw and heard was a great ability. His eye sees all.

_The room was white. The scene shifted from wall, wall, door, wall and then to the woman. She was staring at him, her huge eyes so reflective he could see himself in them. _

"_Ulquiorra?"_

"_-.-"_

"_I'm pregnant."_

"_o.O!"_

_There was a pause as Ulquiorra just stared at the woman, eyes wider than ever. She then giggled several times. "I'm joking."_

"_-.-"_

"_Ulquiorra?" She giggled some more. "It was a joke."_

"_What is this pregnant you speak of?"_

"_O.O" _

"Woman?"

_A stutter. "You don't know?"_

"_No."_

The image vanished from their minds. Szayel looked at Ulquiorra, wondering whether or not to smack him on the head. He might not survive his attempt. Maybe he could bribe Nnoitra to do it. All he needed was a stack of porn.

"What is this pregnant thing?" Ulquiorra asked them, wondering again why many of there faces resembled Orihime's.

There was a collective glance. In the end, Szayel explained procreation and the ways leading to a baby. It was understandable that Ulquiorra was absolutely clueless, he wasn't a genius after all.

"Congrats, you're a dad." Girmmjow gave Ulquiorra a hard slap on the back that nearly sent the smaller arrancar reeling. "Heck, I never even though you'll ever get laid. I lost my bet to Apache."

"Perhaps if you get out of your lust induced fantasies with the orange haired shinigami, you'll learn something." Imputed Nnoitra, getting a laugh at Ulquiorra and Grimmjow's expense. "Hah."

"So what are we going to do?" Stark sat up, alert for once. "Shall we push up the agreement?"

In the beginning, there was a shared vibe that despite their mutual alliance the shinigami will not dominate the hollows. It was against their nature. All of the arrancar wanted to be on the top. But for now they will work together under very strained pretenses. The oppressed masses will fight their oppressor when the shit piles up so much they couldn't stand it anymore. It also helps that each oppressed mass wants to be the ruler anyways and are planning multiple coups.

"We don't have to. All we have to do is wait for Soul Society to make their move to engage Aizen in a very long drawn out battle. This way, when they strike we can take our chance and kill him." Zommari said in his slow, meditative voice. "His shinigami associates will be distracted. All it takes is one fatal strike and he will die. He is a shinigami, not immortal."

"Yes but when was the last time anyone drew blood from Aizen?" Proffered Szayel, looking at them. "He is still very powerful. It will take a human miracle if were to survive our betrayal."

"But why are we moving it up?" Like an irritated cat, Grimmjow couldn't stop from pacing when worked up. "Fuck, why not break his fucking neck?" Grimmjow never took to authority very well.

"Other than the fact he can kill you in 15 seconds? Five if he isn't playing?"

Grimmjow tched and kicked the sand irritated.

"Ulquiorra will soon be a father, if my estimation are correct." Szayel's mask glinted. "Do you really want to know what Aizen will do?"

"That doesn't make any sense. Who cares if Ulquiorra gets a mini-Ulqui." Grimmjow scoffed. "Hell the thought of a mini-Ulqui is scary enough. Who thought the clown ass would even get laid?"

"Grimmjow that doesn't matter." Szayel peered at Ulquiorra. "Although your remark does bring merit. What did she do to you?"

"More like what didn't she do to him." Sniggered Nnoitra.

The conversation was growing dangerously perverted. The group was made up mostly of straight and one bisexual male. "Get back on subject." Halibel said, more like ordered. She gave them all a measured look. "Don't play around."

"Like you do with Noi?"

She placed a hand on her sword hilt.

"Ahh…lets get back on subject." One of the major rules was not to piss of Halibel. She can do nasty things to a man.

"When the time arrives, we will kill him." Barrigan sneered. "And then we will rule Los Noches."

At some point, this group of particular arrancar realized that the only way to win was to work together. In the beginning they didn't even want to be in the same room together, but over time they warmed up to each other. They were family after all. They were all related in a way, platonic or not and because of that they accepted each others presence. A familiar bubble of joy was also a key part of how this comradely developed, one can't ignore that ball of sunshine. Especially if one of your 'brothers' is playing bed games with her.

"It is agreed then?"

The group nodded or spoke their approval. The meeting was over.

"Maa…planning a mutiny are you?" Gin appeared out of the shadows, his smile extending all the way from one end of his face to the other. "What do you think Kaname?"

Kaname was right behind Gin; he just blended ever so nicely with the shadows. He said nothing; his sightless eyes gave no indication of anything.

Gin looked at the Espada, stopping to wave at Nnoitra. "This is very bad." He said in a low voice. "Very baaaaad." He was clearly mocking them. "It's wabbit hunting season."

No one got the last joke.

Nnoitra cackled, happy for once. "Then let us fight then." He had been deprived of people to fight ever since the war started. The shinigami were no fun and he couldn't kill off the weak arrancar. Just cause Aizen said so.

Gin's smile didn't waver. "Why should I fight you?" He sat down on the sand.

"Are you saying you wish to help?" Szayel narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Why not?"

"You have nothing to gain from this venture." Szayel ignored the looks that were directed at him. "So why are you risking your neck? Or is this just a ploy?"

"You know I'm smarter than that." Gin started making a sand castle, well more like a sand woman who is lying down in the sand in an erotic position. "If I wanted you all dead, you would be."

Szayel smirked. "I see you have seen the great design in god's plan and that you aren't part of it?"

"Hmm?" Gin looked up from making a pair of breasts. "Oh no, it just that having sex with Aizen gets boring, its all bondage and domination games."

The group digested that, some with raised eyebrows at his statement. "Well that's something I didn't need to imagine." Was all Sazyel, the most articulate of them, could muster, almost retching.

"And you Commander Tousen?" Tousen was a stickler for regulation and rules. He would chop limbs off for less.

The blind man was silent. "Kaname don't like the sex games either." Gin said chipper.

Everyone just stared at Tousen with images running through their minds.

"I don't think I can look at Tousen again." Muttered Grimmjow, shuddering.

Gin stood, looking at his sculpture of a familiar naked women in an erotic position, he walked towards the standing Tousen. "Time to go, bye bye."

The two melted into the shadows before disappearing entirely. Ulquiorra frowned. "Now we have to move up the date. If Gin and Tousen are showing dissension in the ranks then Aizen will be far more alert."

Everything was based on a strike when Aizen is distracted, overwrought or in any way distracted. Yes, it was underhanded but they were hollows, and cheating was second nature.

"Aizen is planning on a decisive battle in a few months. He will pull everyone out for a massive slaughter. There he will have Pet-sama rejuvenate the Orb and laugh in the shocked faces of everyone else." Nnoitra read off from a note. He looked up. "What?"

"What was that? Intelligence?" Szayel asked in a surprised voice. "A brain fart?"

"This?" Nnotira shrugged. "I found it in one of the porn books Gin gave me."

Halibel snatched the note from his hand before reading it. "It is Gin's handwriting." She flicked the note to Szayel. "This must be one of Aizen's battle plans." She then proceeded to give him a black eye. She had seen what his porn book was with a slight glance. Where the hell did Gin get pictures of her naked?

Szayel read it before passing it on to Ulquiorra. "This is very vague but it will give us an idea of what is coming up."

Ulquiorra passed it on to Stark. "It is settled then." Stark sat up, taking a moment to yawn. "Meeting over."

The Espada dispersed. A few minutes after they left, the sand sculpture grew a bump right in the middle. Then a head popped out. Yammi looked around. "Where did everyone go?"

KKKKKKKKK

A few months passed and Stark saw the chance. They were in an all out battle. The shinigami were pressed to hold their place. It would seem they would miss yet another chance. The war was rather long, and not as easy as Aizen said. Arrancar were not easily felled but they could die. Their ranks did not diminish as quickly as the shinigami's but there was a noticeable lack. Aizen made more arrancar but each were less intelligent as the last. They didn't even seem to have self awareness, they just drool. They weren't even suitable for cannon fodder.

It became evident, that Aizen would have to push his plans up as well. It came as Gin predicted or planned, it was one or the other. Aizen announced the attack plan, taking Orihime as well.

The battle was one sided. The sides shifted several times over the course of the battle. At one moment, the shinigami were gaining the ground then the next the arrancar. As the arrancar were battling it out, Aizen just stood there surveying the battle, smiling as the battleground is drowned in blood.

The Espada had their own orders. A few were engaged in battle while others just stood there looking cool.

Stark kept an his eyes and ears open. The battle was shifting to the shinigami favor and were staying there. Despite that Aizen was going to have the Orb fixed by Orihime. It was a way of damaging the opponent's minds and striking at their desire to continue fighting. When he saw his chance, he took it. Ulquiorra showed his hand, reacting instinctively, possessively when Aizen struck Orihime.

As Stark ran towards Aizen, appearing and disappearing faster than most eyes can track he ran his hand through Aizen striking a fatal blow, he wondered if it were an illusion. As if that wasn't enough, Gin sliced Aizen's arm off with impunity, keeping to his deal from before. Tousen did nothing his grip limp as Ulquiorra grabbed Orihime, sonido'ing away.

Stark looked at the way the blood dripped off his hand. Illusions don't bleed he thought absently as the other arrancar stopped fighting, watching as a coup was occurring. Underground feelings for Aizen were declining. They would not object if he were to mysteriously disappear and reappear as ground up meat.

Then the Bankai hit, he crashed to his knees trying to keep his mind straight as Aizen's Bankai tipped his brain upside down and started pulling itself out of his nostrils. It was Tousen who felled Aizen, Tousen, one of Aizen most fervent believers, one of his only believers aside from himself. It was a fitting betrayal.

As Aizen fell a cero vaporized him and Aizen's spiritual energy vanished. They won. They now ruled Los Noches. First thing was first, this war wasn't theirs and they were not retreating but letting the shinigami live for now. Stark let the others explain as he opened up a gargantum.

"Time to go." His ear was itchy. He scratched it casually. He flicked away the bone shard that he found before walking into the gargantum itself. He cleaned himself up, found a tooth hidden in his clothes and washed off the stench of blood.

After he was done, he went on a shopping spree. This called for a celebration and he was interested in human food. He may be a lazy bastard but that doesn't mean he doesn't do his own work.

With the party in full swing, Stark allowed himself to sleep on Halibel's chest into deep slumber for the first time since he had became an arrancar.

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Community service was good for a person's development. Those were the words running in Tousen's head as he help teach other blind children how to read. It was very fulfilling. Due to his disability, he wasn't allowed to help cook or clean seeing how watching a blind man bump into walls multiple times was funny for a few minutes before it grew dull. He couldn't be allowed back as a captain, he wore plain shinigami robes. Instead he helped teach blind children, read to them and sometimes practice his skills.

Gin however had it worse. Since he didn't have any disability other than a brain impairment, he had to do more drudgery. He helped clean, scared disobedient shinigami recruits and at times teach. Gin as it turns out was a good teacher, he had practice. Gin also had Kira helping him all the time and sometimes Matsumoto would ditch her chibi captain to hang out with Gin.

Tousen as well had his own friends assist him. They were true friends who didn't want more out of him and accepted him as who he was. It was heartwarming. Tousen stayed clear of Kenpachi though, he didn't want to violate parole in a fit of anger. He was controlling that, learning as well as teaching. Life was a learning process.

Soul Society had to be rebuilt after several arrancar attacks. There was a memorial made for those lost in the fight and there were many names. One of the first things Tousen did, not voluntarily, was to read the names. The path of justice, the path of least blood the path he had chosen was not what he had wished it to be. It opened his mind as he realized that this war, that Aizen's way was just as bloody as any other beings.

He learned from his mistakes. To pick the path of justice, the path of least blood is a path he himself would have to make. It is better to lead than to follow, for following blindly was not a path at all.

As these thoughts were running in his head, he didn't notice Gin and Matsumoto making out in the corner. Around children no less, blind kids but they have great hearing.

Some parents are going to be mad.

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A portal opened, people walked out. The park was empty, it was early in the morning and the sunrise was coming up. It was Picnic Day and everyone was excited. One person was more excited than everyone else.

"Mom, Dad…wow you were right mom the sunrise is amazing!" Trea shouted, pointing at the sky. He was hanging onto Ulquiorra's horn while balancing himself on his shoulders. "This is awesome!"

Nnoitra was right behind. "Not as awesome as girls." It was his duty to corrupt Trea. One reason was to piss Ulquiorra off and the other was practical, he would love having a scapegoat when peeping at women. The brat could run pretty fast if motivated.

Orihime helped make a traditional picnic, spreading out the blanket and bringing food. Ulquiorra was there, Nnoitra, Stark, Grimmjow and Halibel. The rest were back in Los Noches, they had opted not to come.

It was a Tuesday.

They all sat, Nnoitra shifting in his uncomfortable gigai. He complained it was itchy to Szayel and Szayel just ignored him. He had other work to do than fix an itchy gigai, the philosopher's stone waited for no one.

The Picnic continued without distractions, as Ulquiorra and Orihime enjoyed each others presence. Trea scampered around, trying to catch the butterflies. He was fascinated; the only butterfly in Los Noches was Szayel-ojisan. Orihime's fairies followed him, flying by his head.

Orihime wasn't to touch any of the food. Ulquiorra helped prepare the meals, whacking Nnoitra's hands with the ladle as the fifth Espada tried to sneak a munchl. Halibel and Yammi helped prepare today's lunch.

"Orihime!" Came a loud squeal as a blur slammed into her or tried to slam into her. Ulquiorra's free hand had snagged the other women by the back of her shirt.

"What are you doing?" He asked, prepared to use his ladle to smack her on the forehead. All he needed was an apron and he can mimic an irate cook.

Chizuru flailed, her arms shaking. She zeroed in on Orihime's chest. "Come to momma!"

"Chizuru?" Orihime stared at her lesbian classmate. If Chizuru was here, then…Orihime turned her head to see Tatsuki and…Ichigo. The whole gang was together, eating ice cream and just staring at her. There was a lack of shinigami, must be due to the war but their presence was enough to shake her world slightly.

Grimmjow jumped off his tree limb. "Ichigo!" He shouted, grinning like he was insane. "Fight me!" He charged at Ichigo, hitting him with a flying tackle. They rolled down the hill in a flurry of fists and dust.

"Idiots." Halibel went back to her food, set on ignoring the whole lot. In the corner of her eye, she noticed Chizuru and Nnoitra had bonded like only perverts would.

They both like breasts.

After Chad separated Grimmjow and Ichigo, both with scratches and with bruises, the talk started. While the war may have ended with Aizen, it didn't mean that the arrancar were no threat.

"Inoue…you're alright." Ichigo had one of his lesser-furrowed eyebrow looks aimed at her.

"Kurosaki-kun." Orihime ducked her head down. She looked up and smiled brightly. "I want you to meet my son."

"What?" You would be amazed how high pitched Ichigo could go when surprised. He was so surprised that he didn't resist when Chad dragged him away to regroup. When he ran back in shinigami form, no one was there.

"Chizuru?" He looked around. "Where is she?"

She was gone.

In New Zealand, a portal was opened and figures stepped through. Halibel had one hand on Grimmjow's ear, dragging him through. Stark also had to be dragged but he didn't bitch and cuss every ten seconds. He was still asleep.

Trea zoomed through, bouncing around and scaring the local animals.

Ulquiorra stepped through, holding onto Orihime. She looked like she had been crying for her face was red but she was also laughing. Ulquiorra would be there for her, waiting and when the time is right she will confront her friends.

Nnoitra stepped out talking advitdly with Chizuru. He talked breast, she talks breast.

"Nnoitra, you can't keep her." Halibel dumped Stark onto a shadowed hill. With Grimmjow she, took a bag of catnip and threw it far away. Like a dog, he chased after it.

Nnoitra looked at Halibel. "We have the same interests." He sounded very happy. He went back to talking about breasts.

Halibel sighed. "Return her when you're done." She walked a few steps forward, turned and smirked while speaking. "You do know she's a lesbian right?"

Nnoitra's little man drooped and stayed that way. "Say it ain't so.." He wailed in dismay. The one time he found someone as perverted as he was and she wasn't interested in girls. Maybe Szayel or Pet-sama could give him a sex change.

Trea flopped into the grass, giggling. He did a few cartwheels before running up to his mother and father. "I want a little brother."

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The END

At last it ends. So what do you guys think? Do you want more? A sequel? In this universe?

Alas…this is the last chapter of the story. It will be long and full of laughs. And selective pairings that aren't really explained much. Finally I actually finish. I am happy to finish at last.

Well…do you guys want a sequel? I was thinking more along the lines of it being the adventures of the Espada, life after the war and having a kid around who just hit puberty and is going around hitting on all the females around. Yeah…the ideas aren't concrete yet but I am thinking about it involving the shinigami as well.

Either that or just a lot of other ideas strung together. OR

The last chapter was a request by **disinterested**. It might be worth to continue that. I think that would be a worth while story. My goal would to make you all cry, and cry a lot.

Hmm..there is urm…stuff to be said. I got the stick up words from a letter the leader of the SDS sent to the Dean of Berkley during the Free Speech Movement. It was really there, check on wiki. It was awesome.

Anyways Read and Review. Give suggestions if you have any.


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